Five Mindful Techniques for Reframing Loneliness
We’re living through unprecedented times right now — a global pandemic, racial injustice, police brutality, and an economic depression to say the least. While at times it almost feels like the world is falling apart, one persistent challenge I’ve noticed many are facing during this turbulent climate is coming to terms with spending more time alone. We are living in a “socially distant” world where every human interaction presents a health risk, and so naturally, we’re spending significantly more time in isolation. As someone who lives on her own and is fueled by the energy of in-person social interaction, coming to terms with the feeling of “loneliness” has been a struggle.
However, after consciously working towards developing more mindful habits and applying wisdom I’ve gained from various spiritual books, I’ve experienced a paradigm shift in my relationship with being alone. I have learned to reframe what I used to view as “loneliness” as a rare opportunity for self growth, discovery and peace. I want to share techniques that worked for me that I hope will benefit some of you facing similar challenges.
- Accept the Feeling
It’s incredibly important to not resist the feelings of isolation or loneliness and accept the situation for what it is right now. Rather than questioning or characterizing how you’re feeling, fully embrace it and even allow yourself a release of emotions if that’s what your soul desires. Try and immerse yourself in the solitude, and enjoy the blissful peace that comes along with it. Don’t judge yourself for any sadness or feelings that cross your mind, and just remember that this feeling is temporary and as it goes for all things in life, it too shall pass.
2. Recognize the Opportunity for Personal Growth
Try and reframe your perspective and recognize the rare opportunity that being alone can provide you in terms of self discovery and growth. For many of us, we’ve never had a myriad of free time like we do now to take a step back and do some self reflection and soul searching. In addition to self discovery, this is a rare opportunity to channel our time and energy into working on our goals, developing new skills, and focusing on self-care.
3. Focus on the Abundance, Rather than the Void
It’s human nature to focus on the “lack of” in your life when you’re feeling lonely or sad. Be conscious when you find yourself dwelling on what you “should” have, or what you perceive as the gaps in your life to achieving happiness or success. Rather than clouding your thoughts with “what-if” scenarios, try and focus on the abundance in your life. Just a few examples: your treasured relationships with friends and family, the growth you’ve experienced as an individual, and any memories that bring you joy. Personally, reminiscing on my favorite travel adventures always makes me immensely grateful for having had the opportunity to explore different cultures.
4. Practice Gratitude Affirmations and Meditations
Try and build a daily routine (it can be at night or first thing in the morning depending on your schedule) where you incorporate at least one gratitude affirmation and/or meditation. This helps provide perspective and peace amidst the chaos of the world. Whether it’s a journal entry, a verbal affirmation, or a guided meditation (highly recommend the Calm app), instilling this as a habit in your day is a simple way to regain a sense of hope and purpose in your life. There’s no better way to be grounded to the present moment, and it can also help enable more restful, deep sleep. I’ve listed a few examples below, but practice what comes natural to you.
“What are five things you’re grateful for as you start off your day?”
“What’s something that made you smile today?”
“List three people who have made a positive impact on your day.”
5. Connect with Loved Ones
If COVID-19 has taught me one lesson, it’s the importance of loved ones in my life, and to never take them for granted. Recognize what your soul needs, and know that you always have the option to invite others into your space if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the quiet and want some virtual company. Never underestimate the power of a loved one’s laugh, smile, or affectionate words, even if it’s behind the screen of a mobile device. These cherished connections are a reminder that you’re never truly alone, even if it feels that way at times.
