Hi Jacquie — “The Sting” is also known by many as cognitive dissonance.
I think your Do list could be more useful, streamlined and direct if it were closer to the following:
- After calming down (i.e. 5 minutes of breathing), take a good look internally at your thought processes and the arguments made against your points.
- Question whether or not they make a rational case as to what you may have done wrong. (i.e. Are they rational arguments? Or are they simply anecdotes, arguments from emotion, personal attacks, etc.)
- Question what biases you may be involved in both sides and how you might be wrong. Talk to a friend (anybody who you know can remain calm and think rationally) about what might make sense.
- Adjust your viewpoint accordingly, and respond calmly with your honest opinion, being open to being wrong.
That said, there is no qualification (race, gender, feminist, etc.) that makes a fact true or not. Arguments from men and women of all colors should be considered not based on the color of the skin or gender. That’s what equality is all about, right?