The Smartphone Aside

Technology has infiltrated our personal conversations, and maybe that’s not such a bad thing.

Every time I go out to lunch or coffee, I notice more and more people engaging in one of the newest social customs of the 21st century. People in groups of two or three, talking and laughing over beverages or sandwiches, will converse for several minutes and, almost on cue, light up their lock screens, swipe them away, and dive into waiting text messages or updated newsfeeds. After several minutes, someone will look up and get the conversation going again. It’s like someone pressed play on a paused YouTube video.

I frequent coffee shops and spend more money at restaurants than I care to admit. I place my order, take a seat, and proceed to stare at a bright IPS display for the bulk of the meal (maybe you opt for an AMOLED screen, if that’s what you’re into). Within seconds, I’m lost in a sea of tweets, posts, upvotes, and articles. When I finally break my gaze with my device, I see the vast majority of people around me doing the same thing, even when another person is sitting across from them, supposedly sharing a meal.

Cell phones, and especially smartphones, have completely changed they ways we interact with people. We are always a swipe away from the latest images and posts from the ones we love and those we admire. When I see groups of people sitting together and looking at their phones instead of each other, it becomes clear that our constant connectedness has impacted and changed the way we communicate in person.

Throughout time and across cultures, there are and have been countless variations to the unspoken rules and customs that are manifest in every social interaction. In today’s wifi-enabled coffee shops, the act of updating our statuses has become an acceptable aside from conversation; while some still consider it rude, there seems to be a growing consensus regarding when it’s okay to share, post, and retweet. As the number of switched-on smartphone addicts has grown, so has this tacit agreement to temporarily check-out of a conversation and check-in on Foursquare.

I’m not condemning this new habit that has worked its way into ubiquity at a growing number of my favorite hang-out spots. When I’m in a group situation, I’ve found the break to be a nice little recharge during a conversation — when a topic reaches its logical conclusion, I don’t need to rush to the next idea or attempt to drag out the old one. Everyone will check their phone, and it might even give someone inspiration for what we’ll talk about next.

Some conversations (and some people in general) are too engrossing for what I’ve dubbed as “The Smartphone Aside.” Maybe it’s to our detriment that we neglect the experience that sits in front of us and opt for one that can be controlled with a finger or a click. However, while some have criticized the magnetic attraction we have with our devices, I don’t view that connection as a bad thing, nor do I see it as something unique to my generation.

It wasn’t long ago when you could observe people reading the newspaper or a magazine as they ate breakfast together. While the technology that we consume information from has changed dramatically, the habit dates back a little further than the advent of the iPhone. To enjoy someone’s presence or company, you don’t need to lavish them with attention or talk just to keep a conversation going. The Smartphone Aside hasn’t damaged or invalidated our personal relationships — it’s just an expression of the way cultures change and respond to new technology.