On Losing

At karate or anywhere else.

Today was our dojo’s semi-annual tournament, which includes katas, boards breaking, and fighting. I only did the fighting part of it, because I could, and I lost.

I am not sure whether I should be happy and satisfied or the opposite.

My initial goal was to win, naturally. But I believe it changed during the course of my first fight.

The fight started really well. I landed most of my punches and low-kicks. My high-kicks almost went through as well. I could see my opponent was in pain from the repetitive hits of my shin against the same spot on his thigh. I was going for K.O.

After the initial 180 seconds, two of the four judges voted for me. The other two voted for a draw. We were back in for two extra minutes.

That’s when things went downward. My throat started to get really dry. My body started losing power. I was feeling the lack of stamina from the laziness of my week.* That was the first problem.

Suddenly, one of his kicks hit my liver. That was the second and last problem, because I was K.O. I’ve always thought that the main area I should protect was my solar plexus, and I was wrong. I learned the hard way and now I know. Solar plexus AND livers. Keep an angle of about 45 degrees instead of facing your opponent directly (solar plexus), and keep your elbows close to your body (liver).

After the fight, external feedback came. I was surprised how much good feedback I received despite my loss. On the positive side, I did a very good job and I *had* him. More constructively, I am fast, have a good technique, and good high kicks. On the downside, I use too much energy, because I never stop. That one surprised me, because I did try to rest after each combos.

I think one of the reasons why I couldn’t feel bad about losing was that I was way too aware of my lack of stamina, and I knew who I had to fight next (a good friend who’s really tough. He won the tournament.)

Another reason was that I got a lot of good and bad feedback, both internal and external. I know what to work on to prepare for the next tournament, and I know what mistakes not to make again. Also, I don’t really care about the medals and cups, but I was quite jelly about some cool swags winners got, like Kyokushin t-shirts and sweaters.

But the fact that there was a spirit award makes me feel bad. A dude who fought his ass off won it, and he totally deserves it. But me, I’m just accepting my loss and reflecting on how I can kick more asses next time. Where’s *my* spirit?

When I see people being sad about a failure or a loss, I usually tell them that the true loss is not to take away anything from the experience, and that in general, there is always something to gain from a failure. But isn’t welcoming failures too easily as bad as not accepting them at all?

*It was a lazy week, because I did not train at all the entire week. I usually train three times a week, but Monday was a holiday, on Tuesday I was out of the city, and on Friday I had a higher priority. The tournament was on Sunday.