When my confidence got crushed by a girl.
As I entered my college for the very first day, I wanted to try different things and one of my biggest aim was to perform at a stand up comedy open mic , because I was very amazed by how a man/woman( I don’t want you to go women too are funny too) speaking through a mic can make a room full of strangers laugh. Let me explain further , you go into a room where you know nobody , words come out of your mouth and the people you don’t know laugh because of what you said .
Now I start going to open mics ,start writing jokes, started practicing so that I wouldn’t fumble . I went to my first ,I got okay response , some laughs here and there. now I got a few set of jokes which were working every time. I was confident about them. Now me and some friends of mine went out to some place to have food, so some common friends joined us there at that place. We sat and started talking, there were a few people whom I didn’t know . Now you must understand some people laugh their asses off on puns , some at structured jokes, some laugh at Kapil Sharma jokes like my wife is fat and she farts. Now there was this girl who laughed at everything. So everybody starts talking about what they been up to . One of my friends start talking how I was going to open mics and trying my hand at comedy . The girl who laughs at anything starts looking at me like she has seen a unicorn . The first thing that comes out her mouth is tell me some jokes. I was like yeah sure, I will make you laugh till you fall of you chair you are sitting and workship me like a demi comedic genius.
I start doing my jokes word by word, as I was doing at open mics. Now I was only telling her jokes , man to woman , no one was listening to us. First joke ,no laugh , blank stare . I thought okay second joke ,no laugh , still blank stare. Now I am telling her next joke, the best one I have got , she just smiles at through the whole joke. Now I am thinking fuck I am fucked , I couldn’t make her laugh. Now I started doing jokes of famous comedians, no laugh. I telling puns ,no reaction. My titanic confidence ship just hit a mountain and sunk like a parle G in water. Then I was like I have only this many jokes . She replied no worry, you can only get better from here.
My confidence just got hiroshima nagasakied and now I am not even doubting, i am internally crying and not showing my frustration. At this point I am thinking I’m not funny, I am just another guy . It was only a fluke that I could make some people laugh. My inner voice saying you stupid ass bitch ,you ain’t shit bitch , no use shit face . Yeah my inner voice is a little African American man.
Here I am thinking nothing I told her could made her laugh. Then this small incident changed my view . Someone near our table farted and she laughed her ass off , laughing off her chair . I was thinking it was that easy, I should have just farted and become a legend in her eyes . Why why God, wish that fart was mine .
Some things I learnt from that night . Farts are daamn funny . You should fart in a situation where you are not able to make that person laugh. Comedy is subjective . One girl can make your confidence go to hell. One incident can make your confidence go down. On the brighter side, I found out she is not my target audience just to make myself feel better, who else will support you if not you. As the millenials say it You do you!
