I know exactly how to break his heart

It would be so easy, like crushing a spider underneath a shoe, like starting a fire in the dry brush in my backyard

He doesn’t know how to break mine, because mine is hidden underneath, buried so far down, no one even knows what it looks like. He doesn’t know the right words that would crush my very being, that would light the atomic bomb hiding underneath my skin. But I do.

It would be so easy, like taking ice cream away from a baby, like stealing a candy bar from the 7-11 down the street.

He doesn’t know that I like holding that knowledge. I guess in some sort of twisted way, it makes me feel like he cares. I just want him to miss me when I’m gone, I just want to know he really loves me. This suffocating obsession can’t mean he really loves me, it just means he’s scared of being alone.

It would be so easy, like holding your breath, like closing your eyes.

It would be so easy to let go, so easy to slip away, to turn off my phone, to not answer his calls.

It would be so easy to not care, to shut him out, to tell him to fuck off and get out of my life. To tell him that the pretty little girl that once belonged to him is lost forever.

I know exactly how to break his heart. I know exactly what strings to pull. I know exactly what words to say. But I won’t.

Because if I did, I would break my own heart while breaking his.