Why “About My Dick” Won’t Ever Work As A Medium Publication (Or Anywhere Else For That Matter)

I know what some of you may be thinking right now.. “what in the blue hell is that?” or “why would he dare write about such a gross subject at 2 a.m. when he should be sleeping?”

Let me just say, before all the hate mail and death threats roll in, that, I am a big supporter of writers, male and female alike. But, if you’ve seen my profile lately, it’s been full of pieces that have been emotional, ultra personal, and downright deadly serious in nature. Quite frankly, even I was getting drained writing in that vein, and so…

I arrived here. It’s after 2 a.m. I’m thinking of Anne Sexton and her amazing poem entitled, “In Celebration of My Uterus” (I recommend anyone who’s interested to look that one up) and suddenly inspiration came like a bolt: “why can’t men talk about their penises like that?” Totally absurd, I know.

Speaking personally, I always found my own penis a bit strange. Like a creature out of Aliens (yes, that old movie with Sigourney Weaver). It’s not very attractive to look at and it just hangs there like a worm between my legs when I don’t need it.

I don’t like talking about that particular body part because there’s a thousand more interesting things I could be writing right now. It’s like God or whatever Cosmic Deity that created man was drunk and sloppy when it came to creating the human male. That’s just how I feel about it.

I don’t talk about my penis or any penis for that matter because of the negative shit it represents. Rather than be a representation of what is good about men, it often represents the bad in men (and rightfully so, I might add).

Rapists and other sexual predators use it as a weapon against their victims. Pornography furthers the stereotype that to be an adequate and virile man, you need a penis of great size or girth. I don’t buy into the myth of the penis.

So, I don’t ever think that a publication entitled “About My Dick” would ever show up at Medium or anywhere else for that matter. At least, I hope not. It would probably end up as a literary vehicle for sexist, masochistic, and chauvinistic propaganda for misguided MRA supporting trolls. Besides, I would NEVER personally support it myself.

Not to mention, I don’t want to be banned or be guilty of breaking any obscenity laws or risk alienating the good faith and friendships that I worked very hard to build during time here at Medium.

That’s perfectly fine with me since I’m quite capable of keeping mine in my pants.

Out of sight and out of mind.

-RD