1. Sometimes, the puzzle piece doesn’t fit in. And it’s totally okay.
In 2019, I learned a lot about being a misfit. About being a person whose behaviors and ideas are different from the rest of the people in the room. About being someone who tried everything to fit in, but things just didn’t work out the way I wanted. Oh yes, it hurts. God, it hurts a lot.
But, being a misfit taught me countless lessons I’ve never learned ever before. It taught me to be a lot stronger. It taught me to be more independent. To accept myself and be okay with my personal values and the way I see the world. I waited for things to collapse just because I didn’t fit in, but the world turned out fine. At the end of the day, everything went well. So, maybe sometimes, the puzzle piece doesn’t have to fit in and it’s totally fine. The earth still rotates in its axis, guys. Everything’s fine.
2. Your vibe attracts your tribe.
Yes, your circle of friends will be matched with your own personality. Despite the fact that in 2019 I experienced the struggles of being a misfit, I found some genuine friends whom I could speak my mind without the need for filtering my words. I gained some sincere friends who always support my decisions and the way I see the world.
Without your concern, the people who get into your inner circle are the people who have the same values and perspectives like yours. You don’t have to worry about being a lone wolf because wherever you are, the right people will gravitate towards you.
3. People change. You change.
I used to believe that personality can’t be changed, especially if a person has already in their 20s. Yes, I was definitely wrong, because, in 2019, I changed a lot. 2019 was a tough year. I struggled a lot and confronted many problems, especially in my workplace. I was stressed out so much so I visited my therapist several times to find the right coping skills.
Thus, the way I see myself has changed. The way I approach people has changed. Now, I even like the things I used to dislike and surprisingly, I like the way myself changed so much. Sometimes, we think that people changed so much and we hate the fact that many things didn’t stay the same. But, the truth is, maybe we should look at ourselves first because maybe, after all this time, things stay the same but not us. You change. And it’s okay.
4. Everything will be a lot easier if everyone has the nerves to speak their minds without being judged.
In 2019, some people treated me badly and they didn’t even tell me the mistakes that I possibly did. They turned so cold around me or they just suddenly disappeared from my friendship radar. Was it my fault? I must say that it wasn’t, because they didn’t even tell me what went wrong.
I’m a human being, people. I can’t read your mind. Just because I took Psychology-major, doesn’t mean that I can guess everyone’s mind. Can we just tell each other what went wrong and try to solve it together? I will greatly appreciate that, thank you.
5. Trying new things might lead you to many new opportunities.
I started my personal campaign, called #ProjectInnerVoice, at the beginning of 2019. It’s a campaign that published a series of illustrations and writings to love ourselves first by practicing self-compassion. I published my #ProjectInnerVoice artworks through Instagram and Pinterest.
Surprisingly, my campaign went viral and thousands of people on the internet followed me and my campaign. The fact that it went viral was surely unexpected because I started the campaign because I love to write and want to learn how to be an illustrator, not to gain followers. So, I might say that trying new things might lead us to many amazing things ahead and the key is just to be brave enough to step out of our comfort zones.
6. Healing yourself takes time.
2019 was the year if separation as many people whom I closed with were growing apart. My sister was getting married, my aunt passed away, and some of my besties from previous workplaces got very busy so much so we barely met. Some people hurt my feelings and some broke their promises. Maybe, I hurt people’s feelings too and I didn’t even realize it.
One thing that I learned from this circle of hurting each other was healing takes time. No one can ever tell you to fast forward the process of being okay after someone hurts your feeling. If you need to feel the sadness, feel the sadness. If you need to cry, then just cry. Feeling the pain is actually the first step to heal a wounded heart and it’s okay to not be okay.
7. We are just a small part of this big universe. And so are our problems.
I travelled to some places in 2019 and I couldn’t help but think that I am just a small part of this entire big universe and so are my problems. This earth is big and this universe serves us an unlimited space and we’re just a speck of super tiny dust, walking on the ground. To think that everything is actually not a big deal makes me able to at least feel at ease.
The idea of we’re just tiny dust within this big universe makes me able to think more clearly and objectively. Because as long as our intention is good and not to harm anybody, everything will be alright. There will be an invisible hand that will help us out of our problems because everything has been planned out. Chill.
8. Everybody’s life is a mess. Yes, you can feel better now after knowing that.
In 2019, I was being invited to some sharing sessions and workshops about self-love. Within each of the sessions or workshops, there would be some participants who shared their personal issues as they cried their hearts out. My #ProjectInnerVoice campaign on Instagram and Pinterest also led me to receive many DMs and emails from strangers who shared their personal stories. And they never failed to make me amazed by their strength.
From their honesty, I learned that everybody is struggling and facing a battle which they need to conquer. No one is living a perfect life. No one has a life as beautiful as their IG feed or stories. Everybody is trying their best to survive and hold on. So, don’t judge. Don’t say hurtful things. If you can’t help other people, just be quiet and don’t say anything that makes them feel worse about their lives.
9. Loneliness and aloneness are two different things. Always choose the second one.
Last year taught me a lot about being comfortable with my own company. Don’t worry, I did meet some guys, but it didn’t work out well and I learned my lessons. But, the point is, I begin to enjoy my life with or without other people around me. At first, it felt like I was withdrawing myself and getting myself into a hole of loneliness.
But, as time went by, I started to feel comfortable and so good about being alone. At that point, I realized that I wasn’t lonely, I was just choosing to be alone and hell yeah, it felt so good. I started to detach myself from social media and I ignored people’s opinions which didn’t contribute to my self-development. Believe me, being alone is not pathetic. It makes you know yourself better instead.
10. Help is always along the way. You just have to reach people out.
Being alone feels great, but you’ll be depressed if you feel like you need to solve every problems by yourself. 2019 taught me to always have the bravery to reach people out when I need their help. I believe that no one is literally alone. We just have to look closer and have the nerves to reach people and ask for their helps. If they don’t help us, reach other people.
There are 7 billion people on earth and I’m sure that there will always be kindness anywhere you go. Last year, I met many genuine people and they always there to help me out whenever I faced difficulties. I am such a low-maintenance kind of friend, so yes, I am really grateful that I met so many sincere friends who are always be present although we’re not being together 24/7.
11. Sometimes, you just have to simply let things go.
And you don’t have to always know the reasons why things don’t work out the way it should be. Some people change. You lost your job. You don’t fit in. Your relationship fails. The world might go against your will and you don’t have to always know the reasons why.
Because maybe it’s just how it is. It is what it is and sometimes we don’t need answers, we only need an acceptance towards everything that happened. It’s okay, life is meant to be messed up anyway. The real-life goal is how to accept the mess. Not how to fix everything.
Here’s to the new chapter of 2020. Let’s celebrate the struggles and the process of being a work in progress. Let’s celebrate yourself. Let’s celebrate life, the good and the bad.