Prioritising Purpose Over Popularity in a Leadership Role
A Distinct Perspective: My Role and Its Intent
I once shared a rather bold assertion with a good friend of mine, when discussing my feelings as a manager: “I’m not here to be liked; I’m here to do a job.” While this statement may initially sound arrogant, it carries a core truth. I made this proclamation as I discussed my new role as a team lead and reflected on my debut experience as a manager, charged with overseeing others. The statement holds a provocative edge, suggesting an uncompromising stance — a ‘my way or the highway’ attitude. However, my true interpretation of this concept is far more nuanced and insightful than its initial shock value. As my friend eagerly awaited an explanation, I seized the moment to elaborate on my perspective and the significance it holds for both me and my new team.
Navigating the Path of Tough Decisions
The tenure of any leader will inevitably involve making tough decisions, some of which might be unpopular. It could encompass implementing disliked policies, initiating Performance Improvement Plans (PIPs), or even necessitating employee departures. In these instances, the leader may find themselves at odds with team members, resulting in a personal strain. Responding to this predicament can take one of three paths: avoidance at all costs, detached acceptance, or addressing the situation directly. Opting for the latter involves clarifying the rationale behind the decision, helping team members comprehend the underlying motives. If objection persists despite this explanation, the leader may experience a temporary or lasting dent in their popularity. Such scenarios underscore that being liked is not a primary objective.
Confronting a Challenging Reality
I’ve encountered a particularly challenging situation in the past when I had to let go of a team member. This individual was not just a colleague, but a friend with whom I shared personal camaraderie. Although I do uphold professionalism, I find fostering personal connections with team members adds a human dimension to our relationship. Regrettably, the employee’s performance did not align with expectations, leading to a series of interventions. Regular meetings, positive encouragement, and performance monitoring became the unfortunate norm.
This was now my reality. My challenge, was always to inspire their motivation, despite the disheartening missed targets without any real excuse, and to strive for momentum. Communicating with them the likelihood of dismissal may have sapped their motivation to improve, but I felt important. Striking a balance between candidness and positivity was key. This wasn’t always easy. Being candid is important, you cannot simply pretend the problem isn’t there. And positivity shows that you haven’t given up on them.
By ignoring the situation, you may find yourself in an unfortunate position of having to follow a procedure anyway, resulting inletting them go; but being upfront with the situation, you will save distress in the long run. But being upfront is to “confront” ands that is where many fall down.
Delivering Unwelcome News
In my particular instance, the moment arrived when the inevitable news needed to be delivered. It was my first time ever doing so, but I felt duty bound, given it was my decision after all. With all the information to hand, I crafted a direct yet compassionate approach. As the conversation unfolded, I sensed a shift in energy. The prior light-heartedness had dissipated, and a sombre atmosphere overcame. By this point, the employee, my colleague and friend, had anticipated his fate, having worked closely with me to address the issues, predicting a different outcome would have been a delusion. Despite the weight of the decision, we parted on an amicable note. The conversation was respectful, and they exited with a sense of determination, ready to seek new opportunities. I was glad I had inspired them, even still. For me, I left with an anvil in my stomach, and a sense of sadness; but thankfully never regret.
Balancing Accountability with Compassion
It’s important to acknowledge that not all termination meetings transpire as smoothly. Instances of perceived unfairness or bias can lead to resentment, and individuals might express their discontent to their colleagues, or even your manager. Such situations are undoubtedly trying, yet they emphasise the importance of self-belief for a leader and manager. Self-pity is not an option in these moments; instead, they present opportunities for growth and self-improvement. The resilience of individuals is surprising, and many I have known have flourished after leaving a challenging role. Actually, I more often than not found this to be the case.
I’ve also encountered situations where I have had to terminate an employee, and their reaction was far from positive. Although it was a tough call, I believed the decision was correct. They vented their frustration to colleagues, attributing various issues to me. Despite any urge to respond or address, I refrained from doing so. It required immense self-control to resist being defensive. Instead, I had to lean on the foundation of trust I had established with my own team, hoping they had faith in my judgment. Fortunately, their support proved steadfast, but the anguish never subsides. The outcome might have been different, my popularity may have plummeted, but the decision had to be taken.
Be compassionate about how they are receiving the news, it is harder to hear than it is to say, despite how difficult that might seem. But be accountable for the decision you made, and show them your accountability. Phrases like, “if there were any other way” will only open up questions of your accountability, rather “I cannot see another outcome” will much quicker close any debate. The former suggests you wanted an alternative, the latter suggest you know there is not.
Facilitating Understanding: The Leader’s Responsibility
As a leader, it falls upon you to ensure clarity in your choices and decisions, regardless of whether they stem from you or your superiors. This process forms a cornerstone of your role. Effective leadership mandates embracing the chosen direction, or at least convincing yourself of its validity. If you fail to bridge this gap, you face a crucial dilemma: Should you prioritise popularity by evading unpopular decisions? Or should you accept that these decisions might diminish your likability, and focus on the greater objective? This juncture often stems from an inability to communicate the rationale effectively, something which takes practice. However, if persuasion eludes you, accepting the unpopularity becomes the pragmatic path.
In the realm of leadership, fostering alignment and understanding may replace the quest for popularity. Ultimately, leadership entails making tough calls, upholding accountability, and ensuring the best interests of the team and organisation, over the individual or even yourself. Whilst striving for mutual respect and support is ideal, the pursuit of personal popularity must not overshadow the essence of the leadership role.
I frequently joke with my friends about my role as manager “I am just a salesperson — selling the vision”. However, is this the sole purpose of leadership? Is there another dimension? As a leader, you’re indeed selling your vision aligned with the company’s direction. Yet, gaining buy-in requires more than just good sales style; it necessitates a culture of mutual understanding. You must comprehend the pitch, and likewise, the team must comprehend you.
When selling a car the salesperson needs to grasp both the practical aspects and the customers’ desires. Any mismatch could breed mistrust. Much like selling a two-seater sports car to a family of five so you can hit your target, understanding their needs is crucial. The relationship should be reciprocal and feel like an equal partnership.
Leadership’s Dual Allegiance
Understanding the necessity behind an outcome, especially when you might not be fully aligned yourself, poses a significant challenge. You must first understand it. Leadership encompasses more than championing personal convictions; it entails endorsing the viewpoints of others, including those in higher positions like your manager, or theirs. Conveying a message that doesn’t resonate with your own beliefs can be a daunting task, but if the message strays significantly from your conscience, it’s possible that the company’s trajectory and your fundamental values are also divergent. This can result in a conflict between your organisational commitment and your personal principles. In these times, you often need to either buckle up and embrace, or, if you find yourself intrinsically at odds, then resign.
In cases where you are on the fence in your allegiance, the company must always prevail. The company must survive, even if your tenure cannot. A slight fracture shown in your position, will inevitably lead to a much easier exploitation of those wishing to challenge. It might sound harsh, but solidarity with the business will save your job, because to push back via your reports is akin to your own insubordination. Your obligation, and therefore your challenges, must only ever be seen pushed up the chain, not down, and not sideways. In other words, you must confront your manager, or have them confront theirs, as your team should to you; because any diversion from this will ebb away at your company culture, and as the leader, it will fall much heavier on your shoulders.
During my time at a company, possibly even two, I encountered discordance between its direction and the managerial approach. Specifically the directors towards their staff. Despite the difficulty in making the decision to depart, I couldn’t align myself. It conflicted with my core values, leading me to the realisation that I preferred risking unemployment over compromised principles. Surprisingly, my decision unlocked new opportunities, and whilst restoring my inner equilibrium.
Respect vs Likability
The primary focus of my initial statement underscores the reality of your role as a leader. Whilst your primary objective isn’t necessarily to be popular, it’s crucial to recognise that being liked can still serve as a valuable byproduct of your personality. Respecting your position carries greater significance than mere popularity, and when I emphasise respect, I don’t mean by invoking a sense of fear (a wholly separate matter).
This, therefore, doesn’t grant you carte blanche to exasperate others. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. The weight of responsibility you bear entails cultivating a sense of inclusivity, where people are willing to align themselves with your vision. In essence, fostering an environment where individuals genuinely wish to engage with you is an integral aspect, but, essentially you should never compromise your character!
In summary, you are not there to be liked, but it will certainly help your cause if you are actually likeable. You need to build a sense of trust with your team, so even when your stance is at odds with the team, or an individual, they understand your sense of duty. Regardless of how it may appear, you are actually acting in their best interests. Which, when you reflect, acting in accordance with the company is in their best interests, and of course your own.