I Am Still At Square 1 In Programming

Don’t get me wrong. I like to code. It is however a chore to get myself to open the IDE on my laptop and start coding, but I know I’ll eventually get in the zone once I get started working on a problem. It’s just the fact that imposter syndrome hits so suddenly, slamming into me hard.

The reason being is my belief that I’m only at the OOP (Object-Oriented Programming) and the Data Structures level. I’ll get started with Algorithms very soon, but what if they’re very hard for me, and I’m not able to get through it? You cannot become great overnight I’m aware. I may lack the great talent, but that doesn’t mean I should be less of a hard-worker than any other person; I’m aware of that too.

I started my first year in Computer Science at the Lebanese American University, after taking a change of heart towards the field of tech rather than health care. Technology has always been strong suit of mine. I never treated it as an enemy, but rather as an ally. My parents, cousins, and my grandma’s old friends usually seek out my help when facing difficulties with their mobile phones. However, I’m in no way this tech geek who creates viruses for fun, or even knows how to do that in the first place YET. Like I said, I’m only starting to move towards the advanced stuff, armed with Python, Java, basics in HTML and CSS, and a Computer Organizations Course. That’s where I’m at right now, and from here I should figure out what to do next. Algorithms and Data Structures should come next, competitive programming too, in addition to DBMS (Database Management Systems) and OS ( Operating Systems) courses. As essential as the last two might be, they’re there for basic knowledge and theory to build a deeper understanding of my field. As for competitive programming, I still haven’t built the guts to feel ready enough for that. What I feel should really be next is figuring out which field in tech I would like to dive deep into, and constantly reminding myself with that in light of having nothing but the basics and adding goals with no plans into my life amplifies the weight of pressure to it that tears at me, makes me lose my motivation to study and learn, and forces me to lose the faith that I and others have in me.

To take my speech away from the dull turn it’s taking, I didn’t start coding at the age of ten. I can work at my own pace. I can have hope to find a decent job and manifest starting my own company one day. My pace, however, is always hurried and rushed; that’s just who I am. I like to take giant leaps, give things my all. And this is what I want to do in that regard. I’ll have a clearer plan and a vision. I’ll start putting myself out there and stop comparing my progress to that of other people. I’ll learn new things everyday, write about them, and enjoy the journey. Hopefully, by my next blog post about programming, I’ll have moved myself to further squares and a healthier mindset.

Next time around, I won’t be as clueless as I kind of am right now, and instead of sharing a little of my insecurities, I’ll be equipped with advice and motivation for all of you. For now, I’ll believe in myself, and I want you to do just that!