It’s Absurd How Much We Suck as a Nation
Holly Wood, PhD 🌹

Hey kids, nice backstroke , great job — keep it up — who knew that rising sea levels could be so… aerobic ! Reminds me of the seashells we used to gather on the beach after a storm. Sorry about the acidification thing, but really who knew that acid would dissolve calcium carbonate, anyhow look at all the cool jelly fish — so it all balances out right ! The sunset is going to be great tonight — well if we see it — the rain storms have been pretty great lately — that Blade Runner director sure had an eye for the future didn’t he. Well he was wrong about the robots, yeah they were sentient but they all left for a distant star — we sure showed them — although the fact the told us we were “useless despoilers of the planet and our future” — well that’s pretty harsh I think but anyhow I’m sure it will all work out fine — and we’ll beat this latest bacterial plague — sure it would have been nice to have kept some of the antibiotics out of the pigs and cows — we could sure use them now but hey — who knew! So all-in-all I think things are just, fine, great even- and it turns out that we did drown our government in a bathtub, well actually the Tidal Basin… that’s a joke — see we had a national government in a place called DC — oh never mind — but remember “the Market will provide, to each according to their FICO score” just like it says in the good video. Well gotta go inside now — yep — things turned out pretty good I think.

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