Confession:
I have a high pitched voice because I am a girl. Now I know this comes as a shock to many, especially with those unfamiliar to anything above 523.25 Hz. But it has been that way for a while now (like 19 years). And for anyone that needs more familiarity with this high frequency range, might I recommend readjusting your oscilloscopes.

The other day I was studying in my engineering club’s lab while two of my classmates were goofing around. At one point one guy was awkwardly half hugging/hanging off the neck of the other. And the other guy said “Quit raping me. Go do that to Rebecca”

Know what’s not cool? Rape jokes. Especially when they are directed at a specific individual. I am not sure why you go to school, but I can assure you I do it to learn, not to be some sex toy. And when these guys go off to work at Apple or Amazon I could only imagine how they will treat the women there. And this isn’t me speaking up for social activism’s sake or women’s sake. This is me speaking up for my sake.

Chances are you already know one person who was raped or kidnapped in his or her life. And maybe you saw the aftermath. The lack of focus, the stress, the panic. Their fear of touch that took years to go away. And to see someone toss around word so carelessly makes me burn. If you heard someone’s mother died in a car accident, would the next thing out of your mouth be a “yo momma” joke?

I asked the boy to leave (guy and man imply a maturity he was lacking). And he didn’t. I told myself I must have been over reacting and that I was wrong to be offended. And a few minutes later he started making fun of my voice. He spoke like a mouse and jabbered on and when he said “This is how Rebecca talks” I told him to leave. 3 times. And he didn’t. I am a club officer, he should have listened. I asked a friend, another officer in the club, to kick him out and my friend said no and that the boy deserved to stay because I have been just as bad of a person before.

Please don’t be that friend. Don’t be the guy who tries to “stay neutral”. Don’t be the boy who says he’s “staying out of it”. Please don’t be the human who stands by when your classmates joke about raping a girl or raping anyone for that mater.

Now I am still confused as to why a person, even a person I normally look up to, would say the boy should stay. And I will forgive because anger and rage leave you no better off. But I ask we by stand less and up stand more. We say bullying is a thing middle schoolers do, but what do we call it now that we are grown ups?

We call it nothing. All too often we say nothing. There were almost 10 other people in the room at the time and they said nothing. Where were their voices? Definitely not out in open being ridiculed for being girly.

I once read by 12 or 13 girls are told to conform and they start to loose their voices. I kept mine. And though it may be teased for being “Girly”, it has a lot to say. Never loose your voice or forget that attached to it is a person. A person made of experiences. And that person matters more than the a few laughs.

Please. I beg of you. Stand up for that girl whose voice is high. Stand up for the boy who speaks with a lisp. Stand up for the geeky girl who has trouble recognizing social cues but has a burning desire to learn.

Because when we can do that, we can engineer a better society.
‪#‎engineeringforgood‬