Perfectionism and why I struggle to publish

I always considered myself a perfectionist. Not in everything, but with some projects and assignments that interest me more I tend to take my time to make sure everything is well organized, well coded, commented, tested, etc.

That is an interesting habit. I tend to get very nice projects once they are done, but that is exactly the problem: getting them done.

A couple of years ago I started developing apps. Windows Apps, iOS Apps then Android Apps. But I have only one app published, and it’s not my best work. The constant search for perfection and the constant feeling that something could be done better led me to postpone the development of some very interesting ideas up to a point where I had no motivation to keep working on them.

It’s frustrating. I always believe my next app is going to be the next big thing (and who doesn’t?), but they always end up being just another half-done app that gets eventually thrown away because they don’t match the high standards I impose. It seems to me that, if I have to put my name on something, it better be something that represents me; but once I am done with it, that no longer feels like who I am. The process changed me.

I’m not going to write about a magic solution to this problem that I magically developed and solved my problem. Quite frankly, I wish I had, so I wouldn’t be struggling with it anymore. But no, no magic today.

The truth is, I still haven’t published that many apps. I still don’t have an application to show everyone else and say “I did this, and I’m proud of it”. I’m still managing 10 different applications under development and I doubt any of them will ever get published. But I’m still trying.

I think I still have not found the real problem, though. I’m not sure if it’s about finding myself, and building towards that, or just accepting that I’ll change by the end of the process and that that app is going to be who I was when I started, not who I am right now.

Perfection demands work. Good work takes time. And I got no time to waste. As one of my professors said once: “There’s always the possiblity that no one will care”. And he’s right. Maybe I’ll go through all the effort of writing all the small details of my app, all it’s architecture, it’s features and business plan and, in the end, no one will download it and the app will eventually die.

Yeah, that’s harsh. But true, nonetheless.

From now on, I’ll focus on getting it done. My next app is not going to be good. I’m not expecting it anymore. It’s not gonna have all the features I’m thinking and it’s not gonna give me 1 billion dollars in the first month. I’ll be happy if I get 50 cents for it to be honest.

I’m starting to believe that perfect apps don’t exist. Even ones from big companies, they always lack one thing or two. Chasing perfection is not going to take me anywhere. I`ll have to accept it and learn as I fail.

My next app is not going to be perfect, but at least it will be out there.

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