My Biggest Fear
Most kids when asked, “What’s
your biggest fear?”
Would answer with the typical
“The monster hiding under my bed.”
I wish that was still my answer.
But now when asked my biggest fear, I would respond with, “myself.”
The monster that is hiding inside of me.
The monster you know that could unexpectedly pop into your life at any moment.
The monster that is the deep dark hole of depression.
The hole that 3 months or a year ago turned your whole world upside down, erased your motivation to be happy and washed away your hope for a successful future.
That caused you to become a different person; unrecognizable to yourself or to the people around you.
The person who was so close to giving up.
You are terrified to be that person again.
You have put too much hard work into getting better, you cannot fall into the hole again.
You can’t do that to yourself, friends or family.
So you do everything you can to make sure that doesn’t happen.
Every bad day sends chills down your body, because you know just how fast your life can come crashing down.
You know that one bad day could spiral into a hundred.
You are constantly battling to make sure you don’t fall into that hole again.
Sometimes you waste too much time preparing for your bad days you forget to enjoy the good, though.
So now when asked what my biggest fear is I say, “that depression will ruin my life again.”
But do not let your fears stop you from living in the moment.
Enjoy the good times.
Bad times are inevitable; you will make it through them though, you’ve done it before.
Life is a struggle, but it is so damn good.
Fight to stay out of the dark hole of depression, one day at a time.