Early Dating Rules for Guys

Follow these and she will seek you out.

Photo by Daniel Mingook Kim on Unsplash

ere’s a hard truth that applies to many guys. It happens all the time in society, and it can feel like a game of the haves versus the have-nots. You want to be suave. Sometimes you see that guy — for a flash, in the mirror. You see a charming, confident guy making some babes laugh, twirling their hair, and you think “Why can’t that be me?” You know that you have the potential. But then, the all-too-familiar problems come up. Puzzling situations with women bring problems that undermine your confidence, and leave you in a state of confusion. And for many, the same types of underlying problems are going to repeat themselves, over and over again. I used to have my fair share of difficulties in dating, until over time I truly came to understand dating, much of it about people’s hardwired nature, which is the most incredible level of understanding that you can have.

Too many are going to live out their love lives with frustration, because they live the romantic part of their lives not knowing any better. Guys who are great at dating understand that dating and sexual seduction is often counter intuitive. That’s why so many guys get it wrong. That’s why you have ordinary, logical friends who’ve gotten destroyed on dates or in relationships. But is it possible to turn this all around? Yes. Can you become the suave man that makes those flash appearances in the mirror? See, I know something about you. I know that you’ve read this far. You’re starting to see that by making the right changes in your thinking, you’ll attain that charming, confident self who is waiting to come out of the mirror. Do you really want to be a dating Jedi, who’s going to usurp the Most Interesting Man in those Dos Equis commercials? You need to be ready to look at things a little differently.

Assume Direction on Your Date

Dating can be nerve wracking if you’re new to it or have been rejected in the past, but the following point can help you to relax before you go out. Mentally assuming direction for a date is going to make things easier for you. The date will go smoother. I’ll break down what ‘assuming direction’ means. Don’t skip over this next sentence, because it’s important, okay? Ask less questions. Yes, that’s it. Just ask less questions on your date, and replace them with comments. Why is this important, you ask? Because it’s instinctual, and you’re ready to be a sexy date. Avoid this: “Where do you want to go?”. “What do you want to do?”. “What do you think?”. “Do you like it here?”. I encourage you to speak like this instead: “Let’s go to ____ on Friday.” I know that sometimes she’s going to say no to your first suggestion. That’s okay. Just follow up with “No problem, let’s go to ____ on Friday then. I hear that’s a fun spot.” You don’t need to follow these word for word — just make it a habit to keep making decisions and putting them out there. “Come with me to the bar, and we’ll get a shot of Captain Morgan.” “Please, tell me some more about where you grew up”. This is an instinctual thing — I can’t emphasize this enough — and it has a lasting impact on her overall impression of you. Scientific fact that it’s going to up her attraction for you 8100%.

A Date is Not a Transaction

Plenty of date-fails fall into this kind of scenario: they go on a date with a woman for at a restaurant. He buys her drinks, pick up the dinner tab, and goes on and on about his above average paying job and how accomplished he is. Don’t get me wrong, this is a good thing. But then, just like that — he wishes or hopes for something sexual in return. He might say something he regrets — like a pick up line that is shot down. He might then even lash out at her emotionally, trying to protect his ego. Epic fail. Or, maybe he has a growing realization that he is being friend-zoned. It’s often because a guy had the wrong attitude. On a date, you’re there to find those instinctual feelings, and they can come out in unexpected ways.

Photo by Elijah O’Donnell on Unsplash

A date is not a transaction. Dating is much more interesting than that. It’s about how they feel about you. If you have had the mindset that you should prove yourself to your date with a checklist, that makes you stand out over the hundreds of other guys, stop. I don’t care how hot she looks. It doesn’t matter.

Do you want to know something better to talk about? One good thing to talk about is something fun that you’re into. A second good thing to talk about is her. Let her talk about herself and her life. Besides being curious and wanting to find out more about her, if you’re worried about having enough to say, chatting up a hobby can easily take up your share of the conversation on a new date. If you’re skeptical — you can’t knock it until you’ve really tried it. It has less to do with what your hobby is and more to do with conveying to her your enjoyment. In short, it affects her feelings. And shows that you are an interesting man. Not your accomplishments meant to impress other people, not going on about your job. Because she’ll find out about those things later anyways. It’s about you as a unique person. You. The stars will align, clouds will part, and you will be sexy. Have you traveled on vacation recently with some friends? Of course you have. Or do you love…fixing up race cars? Are you a good writer? Do you like watching live performance theater, and know a good theater to go to? What stirs you? Tell a story about an experience and how much fun you had. If she doesn’t respond at first…just keep talking about the fun experience, get deeper into it. Double down on it. Unless your hobby is collecting stamps or mowing the lawn, she’s going to like listening because you like it — more than you realize, and it will help make your date a good one. Here’s one last rule — also show your date that you have the capability to be entertained without her. No, it’s not mean. Are you listening to a rock band play on stage, you love the song, and she’s not feeling it? Instead of looking back over your shoulder at her, disappointed, rock it anyways. She’ll come around. Evolve.

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Well being — blended with a spicy serving of human evolution psychology. I write how-to’s for better relationships and self-improvement.

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