The Sims Changed My Life, via Dale Carnegie

I’ve been doing a personal experiment using The Sims. I’m certain this is in no way original, but it amused me. Until it didn’t.
The Sims, in case you’ve never played a game on your computer or phone since the dawn of graphics, is a simulated world. Each iteration is a bit different, but you create a character and let it live life. Ok, you tell it what to do.
For those of you who are gamers- I did not use a single cheat code.
At times during this experiment I was addicted to making X thing happen for my character. At other titmes the idea of pretending life instead of living my own seemed ludicrous.
My idea was to play this game as several characters and see if their experiences differed. After all, no matter what job you take in town you make the same amount of money. A lot of the race and gender variables are mere physical characteristics which the gamer chooses. Plus the gamer chooses personality traits for their sim.
The first time I played, I was a woman who wanted to be a chef. I started on the bottom and worked my way up. Normal. I also made my Sim a lesbian, and frankly the game didn’t seem to understand. When I flirted with female Sims they were confused.
In typical Sims fashion, my character died facedown in some soup because her chef’s hat was too tight.
I also played as a Bro. I mean a well educated privileged Bro. I even named him Bro. I made every personality characteristic and every choice based on privilege, greed, and desire to be seen as the best.
My Sim chose a career in politics. He slept very little (he didn’t need it, I constantly monitored his needs) and while the game didn’t technically allow second jobs my Sim caught fish and grew vegetables which he sold to the local store.
For the first half of his career he made more from his side job than his real job. He kept using that money to make the publicly visible parts of his life perfect while leaving the rest to rot.
I sold all but the necessary items from his starter home in order to buy the first home upgrade pack faster. He owned a cheap table, one folding chair, a cheap bed, and the bare minimum kitchen plus bath. He fished constantly and only cooked what he could catch or grow, selling anything that brought a larger price.
My Sim (or me) sold his television, and Sims need fun to survive. He made a friend just so he could watch the guy’s TV. He never invited this guy to his home until he had upgraded everything public. Biggest house. Best couches, plural. And he didn’t buy his own TV until he could afford the most expensive one available.
When this supposed “best friend” was finally invited inside, it was almost impossible to make him leave. I’d created a bachelors paradise.
My Sim was well on his way to world domination. He’d been a City Councilman, a Local Representative, Mayor, and (somewhat confusingly) Vice President. Much of this was accomplished by befriending the boss and ratting out anyone he could in order to curry favor.
His only friends were powerful people with nice houses and businesses. He did not date. No time. He was constantly fishing and gardening in order to afford the best stereo or the best lamp.
I feel like playing as Bro was a Dale Carnegie crash course in “How AJ does not live her life, and why she isn’t Vice President.” I work multiple jobs too, but he was better at it. I cultivate relationships, which felt silly given his success.
He was a politician, so I made certain he conversed with constituents whenever the opportunity arose. But there was always another fish to catch, another chair to buy.
Then one day, Bro’s world came crashing down. In Memoriam. I never even managed to get him a car, which he would have loved. It seemed like a waste since he lived across the street from his office.
The Bro is dead. Long live the Bro.

In other news, I’m considering changing my life motto. “What would Bro do?”
After all, he did quite well until he couldn’t contain his ego. I’m fatter. Plenty of room for my minuscule ego to bloat.
