I AM WHO I AM
I’m not by any means a blogger. I’m an artist. But I’ll get back to that
First, let me introduce myself. My name is Ryan Randall, I’m from a small state called Rhode Island, I’m a writer, videographer, rapper, and just like you I’m imperfect.
I’m 21 years old, about to be 22 and just recently I learned who I am. Through my teenage years I thought I had found myself. At the age of 19 I was positive I was who I was and that there was no changing that. I thought, from my inexperienced brain that I was mature and more knowledgeable than most people. If things didn’t go my way I would lose my temper. This went on for years, almost 3 to be exact. I thought I had experienced enough in my short life to have the knowledge and understanding of an 80 year old man. Then I met someone who truly changed me. For privacy reasons I won’t mention names, but they know who they are, but for writing purposes we’ll call them my “angel”. I just recently met my angel, in the summer of 2016. I thought we had a great bond until we started to hang out more and more. I realized I was way too intense, depressing, and draining. Unfortunately I didn’t realize this before I had already done too much damage. But this is why I call this person my angel. Before them I would’ve have said “this is who I am, deal with it or leave”. Now don’t get me wrong, they did leave. Temporarily. But at that moment in time it hit me. I’m imperfect. I’m not an 80 year old in a 22 year olds body. I need to change. By the grace of God we figured things out and things have gotten a little better. Most importantly, I’ve changed for the better. I’m still working on myself but I’ve realized my mistakes and I’ve been able to keep my temper down and actually have a real smile on my face. My angel also brought me back to church, after 13+ years. But most importantly they never gave up on me. Now although I call them my angel, they’re far from perfect themselves. But I won’t give up on them. They’ve taught me who I need to be, not for their own benefit, but for mine, and that is the most amazing thing anyone has ever done for me.
WHY I DO WHAT I DO
Ever since I can remember I’ve been creative. I always had these big ideas and creations since I was young even though I thought they were just normal. Probably around the age of 10 I wrote my first “song”. Mind you it was about 10 lines and 5 of them were repeated, but I was 10, what do you expect lol. Around 12/13 I found an interest that I would pursue for 7 years after that. Magic. Day and night I would practice, create, and study everything I could. My idol, Criss Angel, was my biggest inspiration. At the age of 17 I went to Vegas for the first time and saw him live. It was breathtaking for me. At the age of 18 I went for the second time, and I was called up on stage. Four years ago, yet I can still vividly remember walking up those steps to center stage and shaking hands with a man who inspired me to start magic, I can remember every word of every conversation, the lights blinding the sold out crowd sitting in front of me (even though I couldn’t see past the 3rd row). But the one thing I knew at that moment that seemed like a dream, was no matter what I do in my life, I want to be on stage entertaining as many as I can. I continued magic for 2–3 years after that before I found something I could much more openly and more connectively express myself, and that was music. Now at this point I’ve been writing for a couple of years but not seriously, and far from anything I’d show anyone. But I didn’t quit because of that one moment on stage when I realized no matter what, I will strive to entertain as many people as I possible can
WHY SPEND THE MONEY TO MAKE NOTHING IN RETURN
The question I get asked most. Why spend so much money on features, equipment, promotion, etc. to receive nothing in return. My answer is simple. Because I believe in myself and in my art.
You have to spend money to make money
But why spend money on promotions that get me 5 fans. Why spend money on features, even from artists I don’t even like. Because I believe and I want my voice to be heard by as many as possible. I’ve had artists such as Cam Meekins, the Cardiff Brothers, and along as many popular artists from SoundCloud. I’ve spent over $1000 on features, equipment, and promotion and I’ve made about $100 in return. I’m crazy I know. But let this sink in, what “normal” person has been successful.
IM NOT A BLOGGER
I’m not here to talk about politics, celebrities, or popular current events just to get a view on my “blog”. I’m here to share experiences. I’m here to keep it real down to every letter in every word. I’m not here to sugar coat things, I’m not here to fake feelings or spread lies or hate. I’m here to hopefully connect with you to let you know you aren’t alone. To tell you to be who you are. To tell you not to change for anyone but yourself. And I’m not a big name celebrity(yet.), but I’m not going to wait till I am to use my God given voice as an inspiration to others. Most importantly
I’m not by any means a blogger. I’m an artist.