Day 21 | Working through the pain

New things I’ve realized.

A. I react poorly to my mother.
B. There’s magic in working through what hurts you.

Back to part A. My mother for whatever reason brings up the very worst of my soul. I always feel like she doesn’t really care about me. That she just wants to control me and that she is most concerned with herself. Her selfishness is painful. It hurts.

I wish she could be someone that I can just relate to and connect with but she’s proven time and time again that it’s her way only. She ignores all else.
It’s hard to be in a one sided relationship.

Part B. That’s what I discovered this morning. My hip has been killing me. For a girl who’s had cramps to the point of vomit, been stabbed in the foot by something that favored an awl/screwdriver and walked around on a fractured ankle for 2 weeks without really saying anything I think my pain threshold is pretty high.

This makes me want to cry at times. Anyway the point is now that I know the problem is my hyper mobile pelvic bones I’ve dropped my brain and just done what works for me in yoga. Movements that provide stability and I am seeing improvements.

For someone with an externally rotated hip, to see it be able to come in was amazing. It means that changes is physically possible.

It may also indicate that pain is truly inherit of any foundational change.

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