Owning the Whore

Truth be told, the whore scares me. However, lately it has been become more and more obvious to me the entanglement between business and erotic energy. I feel confused by a recent increase in being noticed by men and realize it’s because I’m stepping forward in the world to follow my dreams—that is sexy.

I’ve never really thought of myself in that way. Sure, I make dirty jokes sometimes and like to show off my long legs, but I’ve spent most of my working life (and life) avoiding my sexuality. Wearing pants, closed-toed shoes, and doing my best in general to tamper down any gleam of a sexual being I might have in order to be “successful.” I hide my sexuality to be “safe” and to be the type of woman someone wants to date instead of just f*ck and also to be taken seriously in the workplace. It’s the classic example of the Freudian whore-virgin split.

Female sexuality is scary for many men and women. We fear the energy and power, myself included. I do really well with “good girl,” the whore energy is much more difficult for me. I feel a confusion between wanting to be a sexual being and scared of the societal baggage that comes with it. Culture doesn’t just shun the whore, it keeps her and shames her, with words and reprimands.

The whore must, instead, be kept safe and in a tidy, pretty box.

However, before I quit my last job I did my best to let her out. I wanted to see how it impacted my work relationships or productivity. So, one day at work I wore a crop top to my strict dress code Financial District office . Yes, a skin baring, belly-showing crop top.

Then, the next day I wore a black mini skirt with torn black tights. While the HR people certain side-eyed me several times, I felt very empowered. I resisted the notion that I needed to hide a part of myself in order to make others comfortable and I allowed more of me to shine through. The clarity of me being myself also helped me make better business decisions at work and I felt in a better mood the entire day.

In appreciating the whore archetype for myself I found it useful to look at its etymology as a way of looking a word’s evolution and how our understanding has changed.

The word whore has a very interesting etymology as it comes from Proto-Germanic word khoraz, meaning “one who desires.” Khoraz evolved from kama meaning “love” and named after the Hindu god of love. (This is where the Kama Sutra came from.)

The word whore came from the Sanskrit word for love and yet we use it now for a woman who seems to love too much or indiscriminately. By owning my inner whore, I hope to encourage others to do the same. To find the intersections between life force and love and sexuality and business.

Read the full article here.