This is incredibly interesting to me, because I speak from experience as an educator while you come from a parent’s perspective. Thank you for sharing, and continuing this discussion.
Let’s put things this way: my boundaries are extremely firm. If I need to draw the line for one reason or another, I won’t be negotiating. But I won’t be claiming “because I said so” either.
Treating a child like my equal doesn’t mean letting the kid go nuts because they have the right to or whatever reasoning laisser-faire parents have.
Unschooling and self-directed learning focus on the premise that kids can learn for themselves. When I interact with their kids, I use that premise to guide my actions.
Using my adult power has been counter-productive on almost all counts. Coming from the perspective of “I personally take issue with this, because…” has had much more positive effects than imposing my will “because I said so.”
I can’t speak as a parent, only as an educator. I believe you that your take on raising your kids worked with them even without the reasoning.
My experience working with kids in relation to authority has been that stepping back and using the request/ask approach has been the most efficient with the least arguing.
