What 24 Hours Without a Voice Taught Me

Rebecca Zeines
Jul 30, 2017 · 2 min read

I’m still voiceless, though.

While at work behind a bar last Friday night, my voice gave out.

I’d been fighting a cold for a week and had mostly succeeded at not being miserable at the massive amount of exhaustion the fight brought on.

Unfortunately, on Friday night the cold won. Suddenly, I had to use hand signals to give prices, beg someone to answer the phone for me while I stand by and charade my way through telling him what to say. For the most part, the experience was hilarious. In fact, a friend decided to heckle me while I cleaned up. All I could do was make faces in response, rather than give one of my brilliantly witty come-backs (I have those sometimes).

But being voiceless also meant that my experience of communication was drastically changed.

When I had a long conversation with my new roommate, she had to stand close while paying attention to what I was saying. Whispering meant that she had to be present in the conversation in a way that we sometimes aren’t.

Had my voice been working normally, she’d have busied herself with other stuff, turning her back to me while listening with one ear.

This time around, though, she ended up being much more present.

On my end, it requires patience. I can’t just let all my thoughts and words tumble out, because I need to be sure that the person I’m talking to can hear or understand me.

Suddenly, I’m much more thoughtful about the things that I say.

But the most interesting observation made was the sound of silence.

Normally, I get to decide when I want to be in a quiet space with good company. Without my voice, the choice was made for me. We couldn’t fill the space with mindless chatter, or gossipy conversation, or even too much thoughtful discussion. My voicelessness simply didn’t allow for it.

And then, I realized that silence isn’t valued nearly as much as it should be.

Being in forced silence reminded me that we’re constantly searching for distractions, whether it’s through thoughtless conversation, having the television on, playing some kind of music, or even staring at a screen all day.

I tend to do at least one of those things at any given point in my day. In fact, even my meditation is accompanied by some kind of recorded chanting because I feel like I focus better.

So today, as I remain voiceless, I intend to face the silence head-on and add it to my life.

Silence should not be rejected. It’s one of the most precious moments where we learn more about ourselves.

And yet I pushed it out of my life. No more, though.

Rebecca Zeines

Written by

Copyeditor, Dreamer, Agile Facilitator and all-around joyful misfit

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