Strong Women

Someone told me once that the hardest part of morning is realizing that you have moved on
That you made new homes and open your arms to hugs from people you once called strangers 
That you forget old traditions and now belong to new crowds
In this journey, I found that it’s hard to completely forget 
Even if I build something new, I still build it from my broken pieces

Mom, the hardest part for me is still nightmares from the thought of losing you 
In these nights made of vivid dreams 
when we converse and laugh 
You smile and listen and then suddenly slowly disappear 
I find myself endlessly running hoping to find you in time 
Alive, and well 
Instead, I find myself lost, broken, helpless like the first time I lost you 
So yes, I can say I am starting to move on 
And no, I will never completely do
And yes, it is getting easier 
And no, life is not getting any fairer
But it as more beautiful than ever 
As full of adventure and love than ever before

You will learn that I am still evolving 
That I learned to be okay with not being okay 
You know that I have always be scared of the unknown
Expecting the worse was my strongest suit so that I will never be disappointed 
But sometimes I still find myself falling 
Falling deeper than in my calculations 
But I will be okay, I am okay, I am really am

Mom, I look at you in the strong women in my life 
I find you in their stories, passions and sacrifices 
I look at their fierceness and see your resilience 
They remind me of your thoughtfulness in their own ways 
I found them when I was and still am looking for you 
And learning to know them was what had made this journey worthwhile

September 8, 2017