WHAT A FEELING
I once read from Jed McKenna that all I needed was a vision. Before I have that, I have nothing. I am just a leaf in an autumn wind. So he wrote, the first of all business if I ever wanted to live a fulfilling life, a.k.a. a good dream, (which has nothing to do with enlightenment) was to discover what my vision is. Until that I was just nothing and could have no impact on shaping this dreamstate reality. And really I felt ineffective to say the least. With everything I had going on in my life, I still was not satisfied. But then, I did discover my vision.
I wrote it down: I want to write articles about dogs and publish them. I want to film dogs and get it on TV where everyone can watch it at the comfort of their homes or mobile devices constantly. I want to paint dogs and open up galleries of my own. I want to meet all kinds of dogs and dog owners in the world. I want to build a multitude of perfectly good temporary homes for the homeless dogs where they are well-fed and well-taken care of physically in an environment built with immaculate thought and detail.
I had started writing about dogs long before Medium. Notebooks, my iPhone, Facebook, Instagram, my own website and now here which I must say is definitely the loveliest of experiences for writing. So there, thanks to the era I am born in (what a joke! we are not born and never die but yes this girl I’m so fond of projecting now has seemingly appeared in this world), even though my buddy Cheri thinks I am a genuine hippi who should have been born in the sweet Cali of 1970s, I can now just type something on my computer and bam, publish it.
The thing is, I don’t even write to be read. If I am read, it’s great. I just love the process of typing. It melts my brain into a peaceful mode. It completely removes thinking out of my mind, in the most common sense. It is the way I get to use my mind for good. When the talk goes on inside my head, it is generally worthless if I am not very deliberate in what I am thinking.
Now thanks to Medium, I don’t even need to host my own website anymore because all I needed was a blank space and a lean look to publish my stuff somewhere so it’s both out there and organized in a nice way for me to see.
TV show might be happening also. I have just gone into a meeting. When I got out of it, my groin was on fire. That’s when I knew that I really get off of satisfaction in my gut. This was an authentic, gut wish for me. Even though nothing has happened yet, just to have the opportunity for me to let out of my mouth what I would like to do as a show on TV and being listened by two beautifully interested eyes, I felt I AM KING.
I was just a few days ago complaining about how boring life is. It’s a joke, of course! A joke on me! Every time I complain I know I’m being a completely soft in the head but I still do. I want to let that clinging to rightness go. That feeling of “I’ve got something over you, life! Now listen to me whine and compensate me in some way!” Really a waste of time. The tactic is just to be grateful for one thing. I have just started actively recalling this whenever I am ungrateful. It works. Anyway, now life doesn’t feel boring. You know why, because I once again know that I am dreaming. WHAT A FEELING!