He gave me a Bliss Moment without knowing it.
You know those moments that just make everything stop? Makes everything slip away, and you become numb to the world but at the same time you feel completely connected with everything in your surroundings.
I had that. And I won’t ever forget it.
I’ve had a hard couple of years even harder couple of months. More mentally then physical. But that can just be as damaging sometimes even more so.
But it’s one o’clock in the morning and the guy Iv’e had a crush on for a few years, agreed to give us a try a few days ago. And I’m nervous, I won’t lie. I’m nervous that I’m to much for him. I’m too much for a lot of people, or so I’m told constantly. But he… he sticks around. Maybe his crazy matches my crazy, or something more heartfelt and warming like you would read in a Hallmark Card.
But through all my minds chaos he gave me the one thing I needed and I will never be able to show him how much I am thankful for that.
I asked him a topic to write about, so I could at least do something while not sleeping again. I put on Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol, undoubtedly one of my favorite songs. But I don’t dare admit that to anyone. Well I guess whoever reads this now knows. But I asked him anyways for a topic.
“Gimme something to write about, will you? Please?”
I thought he was gonna say something funny. He always makes me laugh so I just assumed.
I wasn’t prepared for that but, curiosity killed the cat, and I asked him what he meant.
“Because that’s what we are.”
And everything stopped. And I mean everything. Suddenly having no job didn’t bother me, my complications towards my mother didn’t seem necessary. My family didn’t seem to be so far away anymore. MY heart stopped but sped at the same time and the song just seemed to keep going and never disappointed with an end of the song. I spun but the room was perfectly still. That was it to make me blush and completely change how I felt and will feel tomorrow.
What makes it better is he wasn’t even trying. He just said it without thinking. And for that I thank him.
Some say it comes from true love’s first kiss, or when you hold your baby in your arms for the first time. Or when you see your love smile like there’s nothing wrong with the world. I’m only 18 so none of that stuff hasn’t happened yet. But I still would compare this to those coming.
“Curiosity may have killed the cat but satisfaction DEFINITELY brought it back.”