Mumbai

inheritance of loss

Young, bubbly and enigmatic. Struggling, chaotic concrete jungle. It is difficult to define Mumbai, to confine it in words. It is a paradox. A contradiction in itself. The city is a living entity — a survivor. From seven islands inhabited by fishing communities the place has thrived in chaos. It has remained resilient to the fortunes of the various empires and has somehow remained a stoic observer.

Millions come to this city of dreams. In a country like India, more than anything, Mumbai resonates hope. Hope that things can change. That hard work never goes unrewarded. Sweat of its dwellers power the veins of the city. More than anyplace I have ever lived in, Mumbai is non judgmental. It just lets you be who you are. To discover your faith, to find your love and to make your luck.

And yet in this journey we lose a part of us. Most of us have been in the journey for so long that we don’t even recall the reason for being a part of the race. There comes a point when there is that tinge of acute loneliness. Of emptiness. That craving for belongingness and acceptance. We miss the comfort of our homes. The touch of our loved ones. Those effortless smiles and selfless care.

Despite this somehow we all survive. It is sort of a poetic justice which the city inflicts. We try to fight another day. Many of us fill that void by being drowned in the ear trenching music or alcohol where nothing can be heard. We do anything and everything so that the pain can be subdued. Only a few lucky ones manage to do that. The lifelong friendships made over cups of coffee and bottles of beer become our family away from our homes. We learn to make peace with the place, to accept it the way it is. To enjoy and cherish the little joys it has to offer.

It has been over two years since I first moved into the city. I remember when I first fell in love with Mumbai rains. I have countless memories of this place and wonderful times I have had. The late night chais (tea) and Marine drive strolls. Prithvi cafe and Gloria jeans. These places are now a part of me. I have made a few friends and many acquaintances. Some of whom I know shall be there for a lifetime. For me Mumbai more than anything is an emotion. That emotion is not devoid of the loss of belonging. I have made my peace with that . I know wheresoever in this world I might be, Mumbai shall always be a part of me.