its this new thought process

of getting ready for things

to htink I don’t have to wear that shirt he liked

in fact I probably shouldn’t

in case it sets someone else off

its like driving a car

you are asking me to start driving with my hands higher on the wheel

when ive driven the opposite for years

i wonder if ill ever again remember what its like to hear you laugh

i wonder if ill ever again sit in that chair and feel at home

i wonder if ill start to forget everything slowly and then all at once

its one thing to lose someone and know they are still out there,

breathing, running, alive and a heart beat

its another to know they arent

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