A Pair of Free Slushees at 7-Eleven

So, if you guys didn’t know: Every year, on 7/11 7-Eleven gives out free slushees. I just learned this today. (Thanks Reddit!)

I was browsing Reddit while (avoiding) getting ready for a baby shower in which my presence was required by her majesty, The Mrs. Just as I was about to close the app I spotted it. Free slushees at 7-Eleven. I love free things. I love slushees. What could go wrong?

I immediately voiced my eagerness for free, partially melted ice to The Mrs, and requested we acquire said ice after the baby shower. She gratuitously agreed to fulfill my craving, and I waited anxiously throughout the baby shower.

As we leave the anticipation is rising. We are near our local 7-Eleven gas station. I text and call my dad to share my excitement. We pull up to the 7-Eleven with parking lot full, cars beeping, middle fingers raising and children screaming. We manage to secure a spot in front of a gas pump. “They can wait to get their gas” my wife says. I open the door, and the feeling I had next could only be described as euphoric.

The line is to the door, and inching closer to the slushee attendant. I’m uncomfortably close to those around me. My shoes stick to the floor, now coated in spilled slushee. I text my dad saying “It’s like waiting in a line at Disney”. As I near the attendant I text again saying “I’m almost there!”. Then it begins.

I watch her grab my cup.

She asks me which flavor I’d like.

I ask for coke, but cherry as a backup.

She kindly informs me that the machine is out of both of my requested flavors.

I then ask for the Sour Patch Kids Watermelon flavor.

I Receive my free slushee.

The experience is everything I wanted and more. I get back the the car. My slushee is already partially melted. I take three whole sips, before realizing it was all a mistake.

The next two texts to my dad read as follows:

“Don’t get the slushees their a trap!”

“Both Katelyn (my wife) and I’m stomachs hurt after. Lol”

The pain was so strong that I couldn’t even write the above text message correctly. I haven’t had Appendicitis, but I’m fairly certain the pain was far worse than an inflamed appendix. Even as I write this piece now my stomach cries out in a mild pain. Eh, the pain is fading now. Actually, I can hardly feel it. Now I think the pain is entirely gone. Maybe the pain was never really there, and if it never really hurt then that means…

Darn it! I wasted two perfectly good slushees when pouring them out on my lawn. Oh well, there is always next year.

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