Divided [Short Excerpt]

As the remaining rays of light streaked across the city horizon, elongating the flooding shadows of honking vehicles and anxious townsfolk of the bustling streets, Blake calmly studied while resting on the lonesome wooden bench adjacent to the local library. As the comforting aroma of spring brushed over him, he couldn’t help but have pondered the oddity of his situation, specifically, today. Because today, the weather was awfully beautiful. Today, the urban symphony was awfully resounding. Today, he felt more torn than ever, more disconnected than ever.

Nothing today felt routine.

A little irregularity once here and there was fine. Afterall, that was an inevitable consequence of being right above the disastrous whirlwinds and waves of this world.

Though, this?

This was too much disorder to just shove under the pillow and call it a night.

He knew. That composure of tranquility, elevated only by his well-ironed suit and tie, was deceiving to everyone except himself. In reality, the silence was concealing screams, cries of an unseen war between two forces of his humanity that had gone on for too long.

Firstly, there was the mind.

Thus, there, despite clearly enjoying the soothing luxury of sitting under the only cherry tree in the vicinity, he managed to convince himself that this wasn’t much. At least, it sure as well didn’t amount to the countless “supplement runs” he would make on a daily basis, the multitude of gifts he would receive from individuals he never recalled meeting, or -

Secondly, there was the heart.

Never mind, screw all that. What was he trying to do? Eliciting sympathy? If so, from who? He knew better. He was just being blatantly ignorant by forsaking the sacrifices from all those who genuinely cared about him.

No… It wasn’t sympathy that he truly sought, neither was it a sense of pride. Maybe it was something in-between, but Blake didn’t know what. Simultaneously drowning in the sea of speculation while being strained dry by the tug of war within, Blake tried to stay afloat by distracting himself to the reflective skyscrapers above.

Maybe that was the most he could do anyway.