Common slide deck copy problems, and how to fix them

Short version

Say what you mean. Discard anything that does not add to the story.

Long version

The words we use to convey a message are important.

The right choices can help sway an argument, clinch a deal or inspire new ideas. The wrong ones can undermine, confuse and obscure their intended value.

While most of us have email etiquette squared away and will hone our public speaking skills whenever we can, it is the language used in slide-decks where things often go wrong.

Avoid the following three habits and your presentations will carry more influence.

Stating The Obvious

Recently, I saw a tech company pitch a new product — an enterprise messaging platform. I had been using the beta and liked it, but this was the first chance I had to see their presentation.

At the top of their spec sheet slide, the first bullet point was ‘Enterprise Grade Software’.

There are two things wrong with this. Firstly, it’s superfluous. Any audience seeing the presentation already knows the software is enterprise grade — the word ‘enterprise’ is in the product name.

Secondly, what does it say about how close a vendor is to their product if they cannot cite anything more attention grabbing?

Rehashing keywords from a product title does not tell the audience anything new, it does not draw them any deeper into your story and you are unlikely to be building any enthusiasm by doing so. In fact, you may be deflating it.

Vacuous Accolades

It can be tempting to add phrases like “world class”, “best in breed” and “number one” to your decks. But, resist!

Unless you have third-party ratings for your products, or audited rankings for your sales figures, leave these out.

Free up the space in your presentation and use it instead to explain how your product qualifies as best in breed or why your sales forecasts are the most credible.

Remember, if you cannot prove why something is world class, it probably isn’t. Lead your audience to the right conclusion with insightful details about what puts your message ahead of the rest.

Buzzwords & Phrases

Alarm bells should start to sound whenever you see yourself use the word “unique” in a presentation. It is a buzzword that gets used so often that it probably carries no weight with your audience. Any time you spot a buzzword, give that part of your deck special attention. If you reached for a buzzword, chances are you missed a more compelling way to make your point.

The following bullet point describing a new product release illustrates the point — you have probably seen (or written) something similar yourself:

- unique improvements to data management processes that both complement and augment traditional practices

If you look at this for a moment, you will see that it does not actually say anything at all. What made perfect sense in the author’s mind got mis-condensed into a lengthy but hollow and meaningless block of text.

What makes this kind of problem worse is that you might catch yourself making the mistake but then get writer’s block when trying to think about how to express the idea more concretely.

Thankfully, there is a simple technique you can use that works reliably. Find a colleague and tell them you are having trouble with your presentation. Get them to listen to you read the problem section out loud and then ask you “Yes, but what are you trying to say here?”

You will almost certainly reel off a perfectly lucid answer. Pay attention to whatever words come out of your mouth. Write them down. This is what should go in the deck.

If you ever hear yourself say or think “What I mean here is…” then what comes next is the basis of what you should actually write.

This works because, when creating the deck you chose words that felt like a great shorthand way to describe what might be a complex point. But when you hear your colleague challenge you to explain it, you choose words that impart knowledge efficiently rather than those that simply condense it.

Ditch the florid, formal wordsmith approach and forget about trying to conform to any particular language style.