A Revised Logo

For more than a century, the symbol of the Republican Party has been the elephant. It is time for them to strike this symbol, and blazon a truer and more correct insignia for the coven, one that truly reflects their ambitions and designs for the republic and the planet. Besides, the elephants are sore tired of being so used and may soon reach the point where they’ll charter airplanes, ships and trains to carry them to the Capitol and White House for a good old fashioned stomping.

Now, I hardly propose that the Republican Party adopt the wearing of soiled white sheets and pointy hats. That wouldn’t at all convey the totality of what they’re about. I must admit, though, that the notion does have a certain bent to it, just as the cross that eye-holed sheets often bear.

Many of these picaroons profess to be Christians of the more backward sort with the attendant baggage that that implies. It is fitting, therefore, that the new symbol for the Republican Party be something drawn from their bible. I’m not talking fishes and loaves, nor a phantasmal gentleman strolling around on a pond. What I propose is something far older, yet still extant, relevant and applicable today. This new symbol should delight them, as it is referenced in their bible, is therefore holy, and thus cannot possibly be wrong.

The new Republican mascot shall be the locust.

I propose this because this creature really does sum up everything about Trump, Pence, McConnell, Ryan and their assorted used tea bags. According to their bible, one of the plagues that smote Egypt of old was swarms of locusts destroying the crops. It is said that the lesson was repeated less than two centuries ago in Salt Lake, with disaster being averted only by the appearance of flocks of hungry terns. (Sorry. No miracle there. Only hungry birds.) In today’s experience, swarms of locusts still exist, and still wreak havoc wherever they alight. They seem especially to plague the weak and hungry. A herd of locusts will, in short order, utterly decimate any living landscape it touches, striping a bountiful harvest to barren earth in a thrice. Then they leave. This sounds rather like GOP plans for the environment, our resources, our economy, and any possible social good.

Another reason why the elephantine symbol for the GOP (read Greedy Old Prigs) must be retired is that elephants are actually rather intelligent and wise beings both as a herd and individually. They go to great lengths to protect their environment and each member of the herd, no matter how weak and vulnerable. The elephants thus stand completely antithetical to the current Republicans. The towering giants of the party of old, Lincoln and TR, have little in common with today’s Republican party either, for that matter.

On the other hand, the locust fills the bill to a tee. An individual locust is vacuous, and exists only to consume and, maybe, reproduce. It does what the swarm does, no more and no less. The locust swarm is heedless greed animated and doesn’t give a whoop about anything else. A verdant environment and rich fields are but fodder to be gnawed to the root, and the devil take any who might depend on or husband that resource. Even their own descendants don’t matter; they’ll have to find their own fields to plunder and destroy. If nothing else, they can devour each other.

Q.E.D., the locust is a most fitting Republican logo.

And elephants the world around, no longer being insulted so, will rejoice.

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