I suppose you could say I have lived a life. — Do you want a resume? Sure here you go: Education:
Bachelor of Arts: Being the Artful Dodger in every school production. 1996–2007, The University of Essex, School of Council Estate Politics. Masters Degree: Drunken Rants, 2007-, The Hawley Arms. I digress. I find such listings of one’s achievements uncouth. I…