No I am not on Facebook

Messenger is not Facebook. Facebook is Facebook.

Reecha Bharali
Jul 10, 2017 · 5 min read

Starting 2017, I decided to call off my social browsing and stalking popularly known as Facebook. Life is hard. For every time my browser opens I can’t read those strong public opinions or enlive those beautiful travel pictures. Not to say the weird video of pineapple pen.

I signed up for Facebook on September 2009. I was a very active member for seven years and was sometimes lucky to be in their beta user pool. So, when I decided to break up with one of the longest online habits that I had developed over a period of seven years, it wasn’t like I didn’t feel a tide. This July I will proudly announce my seven month breakup with the social platform. I jot down — the good, the bad and the ugly of this dis-association.

I was here- Facebook HQ, Menlo Park. April 2016

Changes- The Good

The World of alternate options. So, ideally am I still on the alternate Facebook?

I have discovered my own world of alternative options, if combined together probabaly would be another Facebook.(LOL time)

  1. Instagram — I became an active instagrammer. It is a time when most of my friends are getting married and my young cousins are hitting early teen ages. I started to miss these two phases in life when people look the happiest (Probably ;)). Instagaram is my new photo album, and for the perks I don’t have to roll through hundreds of them. People usually post their best :P. So, my visual craving of social pictures are taken care of.
  2. Youtube Comments — I missed out the aggressive debates and opinions of my friends. I turned onto youtube comments for what the world had to say. Not that I was comparing itsmylifexoxo_ to my dear friends but who said strong opinions can’t be loosely held.
  3. News — No wonder after the fake news invasion in 2016 US election, I reemphasized the need of buying news but a everyday me used to stick to the right hand bar for news collection or posts of those passionate friends of mine. In its absence, I have started relying on authentic first party news channel like the New York times and NPR(locals to where I live).
  4. Twitter — Twitter is another great source if you follow genuine accounts and not read through the viral hashtags.
  5. Calendar — I started relying on my calendar way more. I genuinely remember people’s birthday’s and important dates.
  6. The Zen —Social comparisons was another struggle that I was going through might it be a job, a trip or relationships. While I was clear that ‘Having fun’ on a social post doesn’t equal to ‘having fun’. The subconscious me always ended up with social comparisons.
    I was concerned for the longest time that I was measuring myself based on what I was presumed to be. If my vacation picture didn’t live up to the expectation after a hundred filters, I would often feel haunted. One of the biggest reasons for me to the go off the online hook.

Changes-The Bad and The Ugly

The implications are real

  1. I never knew my social life “IN REAL” was directly proportional to my virtual life. I started missing out invites to meet ups, unless someone really needed me and sent me a private message. I had a hard time being aware of social discussions might it be a potluck or getting someone a good birthday gift.
  2. Important dates — Yes, I have relied on memory to remember important dates and repetitive events. But I miss out on people’s anniversaries, graduations, landmark achievements, dream trips, surprise life events, obituary of the old and many granular events, which I am sure my friends would be grateful if I could send them a note. I know it is beyond my capacity; and Facebook helped me fill up that gap years ago. So many years later I am voluntarily signing off. Well, the Zen says, life runs in circles.
  3. With the current world events, my ears and eyes are wide open to events across the globe. I hear about a natural disaster or a harmful attack on a community, I open up my news sources. But, unfortunately I never know if any of my friends/their family was hurt or needs help.

The Things in Between

I am not sure what many other fall into the good or the bad bucket.

  1. My Infinite Acquaintances — While I am friends with my friends on Facebook ;). I was in touch with a range of people I was never close to, but could still reach out to. Those accquantainces posted ‘Happy Birthday’ on my wall, to which I genuinely wrote back ‘thank you’. Probably, in a few months when it was theirs I followed the exact semantics. Chances of me hanging out with them were rare and now its a never, for our ‘only’ point of contact is blurred.
  2. Communication — I never shared pictures from private parties, family gatherings or posted any strong opinions on Facebook. I strongly felt Facebook though a closed knit platform was actually a public display. The only pictures I posted was, where I felt I was aesthetically pleasing. While that age is gone where I felt I was superlative princess, I still feel sharing your personal space is sometimes a joy. When you introduce your pup to the world or share how you feel about your mummy on Mother’s day.

The Guilty Girl

Though I decided to logout for one final time. I still don’t have the courage to delete all that lies in that digital frame. I am the girl who grew up with the like spree. With time I don’t enjoy it anymore but I hate to erase that part which will always remain a part of me. Yes! the one who liked likes. So, I have not deleted my Facebook, just deactivated and never did log in back. My will power and self control translates its full potential here.

I still stay in touch with close friends, I am taking advantage of a Facebook messaging feature here. ;) So, Messenger is not Facebook. Facebook is Facebook.

Finally I am still flipping my coin somedays — I should be back..I should not....I should be back….I should not….Not a big deal right?

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade