No I am not on Facebook
Messenger is not Facebook. Facebook is Facebook.
Starting 2017, I decided to call off my social browsing and stalking popularly known as Facebook. Life is hard. For every time my browser opens I can’t read those strong public opinions or enlive those beautiful travel pictures. Not to say the weird video of pineapple pen.
I signed up for Facebook on September 2009. I was a very active member for seven years and was sometimes lucky to be in their beta user pool. So, when I decided to break up with one of the longest online habits that I had developed over a period of seven years, it wasn’t like I didn’t feel a tide. This July I will proudly announce my seven month breakup with the social platform. I jot down — the good, the bad and the ugly of this dis-association.

Changes- The Good
The World of alternate options. So, ideally am I still on the alternate Facebook?
I have discovered my own world of alternative options, if combined together probabaly would be another Facebook.(LOL time)
- Instagram — I became an active instagrammer. It is a time when most of my friends are getting married and my young cousins are hitting early teen ages. I started to miss these two phases in life when people look the happiest (Probably ;)). Instagaram is my new photo album, and for the perks I don’t have to roll through hundreds of them. People usually post their best :P. So, my visual craving of social pictures are taken care of.
- Youtube Comments — I missed out the aggressive debates and opinions of my friends. I turned onto youtube comments for what the world had to say. Not that I was comparing itsmylifexoxo_ to my dear friends but who said strong opinions can’t be loosely held.
- News — No wonder after the fake news invasion in 2016 US election, I reemphasized the need of buying news but a everyday me used to stick to the right hand bar for news collection or posts of those passionate friends of mine. In its absence, I have started relying on authentic first party news channel like the New York times and NPR(locals to where I live).
- Twitter — Twitter is another great source if you follow genuine accounts and not read through the viral hashtags.
- Calendar — I started relying on my calendar way more. I genuinely remember people’s birthday’s and important dates.
- The Zen —Social comparisons was another struggle that I was going through might it be a job, a trip or relationships. While I was clear that ‘Having fun’ on a social post doesn’t equal to ‘having fun’. The subconscious me always ended up with social comparisons.
I was concerned for the longest time that I was measuring myself based on what I was presumed to be. If my vacation picture didn’t live up to the expectation after a hundred filters, I would often feel haunted. One of the biggest reasons for me to the go off the online hook.
Changes-The Bad and The Ugly
The implications are real
- I never knew my social life “IN REAL” was directly proportional to my virtual life. I started missing out invites to meet ups, unless someone really needed me and sent me a private message. I had a hard time being aware of social discussions might it be a potluck or getting someone a good birthday gift.
- Important dates — Yes, I have relied on memory to remember important dates and repetitive events. But I miss out on people’s anniversaries, graduations, landmark achievements, dream trips, surprise life events, obituary of the old and many granular events, which I am sure my friends would be grateful if I could send them a note. I know it is beyond my capacity; and Facebook helped me fill up that gap years ago. So many years later I am voluntarily signing off. Well, the Zen says, life runs in circles.
- With the current world events, my ears and eyes are wide open to events across the globe. I hear about a natural disaster or a harmful attack on a community, I open up my news sources. But, unfortunately I never know if any of my friends/their family was hurt or needs help.
The Things in Between
I am not sure what many other fall into the good or the bad bucket.
- My Infinite Acquaintances — While I am friends with my friends on Facebook ;). I was in touch with a range of people I was never close to, but could still reach out to. Those accquantainces posted ‘Happy Birthday’ on my wall, to which I genuinely wrote back ‘thank you’. Probably, in a few months when it was theirs I followed the exact semantics. Chances of me hanging out with them were rare and now its a never, for our ‘only’ point of contact is blurred.
- Communication — I never shared pictures from private parties, family gatherings or posted any strong opinions on Facebook. I strongly felt Facebook though a closed knit platform was actually a public display. The only pictures I posted was, where I felt I was aesthetically pleasing. While that age is gone where I felt I was superlative princess, I still feel sharing your personal space is sometimes a joy. When you introduce your pup to the world or share how you feel about your mummy on Mother’s day.
The Guilty Girl
Though I decided to logout for one final time. I still don’t have the courage to delete all that lies in that digital frame. I am the girl who grew up with the like spree. With time I don’t enjoy it anymore but I hate to erase that part which will always remain a part of me. Yes! the one who liked likes. So, I have not deleted my Facebook, just deactivated and never did log in back. My will power and self control translates its full potential here.
I still stay in touch with close friends, I am taking advantage of a Facebook messaging feature here. ;) So, Messenger is not Facebook. Facebook is Facebook.
Finally I am still flipping my coin somedays — I should be back..I should not....I should be back….I should not….Not a big deal right?
