Humility, the Hardest Part of Leading Through Influence
Don’t you HATE it when someone else gets credit for your hard work?
If you’re accustomed to leading through influence, get used to it!
Maybe it was a boss that didn’t share the praise with you. Maybe it was the person that stepped into the role after you. Maybe it was someone that was on the team but didn’t contribute as much as you. No matter the situation, we’ve all experienced those moments when credit wasn’t given where credit was due.
We’ve all experienced those moments when credit wasn’t given where credit was due.
I actually just experienced it this week. I’m not going to get into the details because it will sound whinny… and THAT’S NOT the point of this story. The point is, we’ve all felt it and we’ve probably all thought about going on the offensive to “set the record straight.” If you’re serious about leading through influence, that is one of the worst things you could do. It will feel good in the moment, you may even get some sympathetic emoticons sent your way. But making sure everyone knows it was you behind the curtain will ultimately cheapen your ability to influence your organization.
The right approach, the humble approach, is to realize why the work was done in the first place. Then find satisfaction in the fact that it is making the difference it was intended to make. By focusing on the results instead of the credit, you can insulate yourself from disappointment if you’re not given the credit you may deserve.
Humility is the absolute hardest part of leading through influence. It’s the hardest part because it is purely emotional and behavioral. There is no process, no checklist, no life hack for humility. Humility is a practiced mindset, a state of being… and it goes against our egotistical human nature.
Humility is a practiced mindset, a state of being… and it goes against our egotistical human nature.
Here are 3 thoughts that will help keep your ego in check and help you continue to lead through influence.
1. “If you live by people’s compliments, you’ll die by their criticisms” — Cornelius Lindsey
The best way to humbly influence your organization is to ignore what people are saying about you… even if it is praise worthy. That’s not to say you should be unappreciative of kind words thrown your way, but you should do your best to compartmentalize what other people think of you.
Instead, focus on using empathy and understanding their motivations. Being able to tap into what your organization cares about will help you build influencing plans that will allow you to move your ideas forward.
A good friend of mine summed it up like this:
“Visionary leaders must be intrinsically motivated… It’s often that the praise of their work will fall to those that follow and have inherited the master plan.”
2. It’s not about you… it’s about the movement
This is one of the best explanations on how to start a movement. I know you’re busy, so I’ll summarize. In the beginning of the video there’s a single person dancing wildly in the middle of a snickering crowd. But he doesn’t give up. He doesn’t listen to the nay-sayers. He keeps dancing, no matter how ridiculous it may look. Then an amazing thing happens… someone joins him. Then another. And another. Before long the same people that were making fun of his dancing are jumping up and running to join the movement. By the end of the video, hundreds of people join in and the single person that started the whole thing can’t even be seen.
What he realized was simple. He wasn’t dancing for himself. He wasn’t trying to look cool. He was trying to start a movement. And when his movement finally caught steam, he drifted quietly into the background to admire his handy work.
3. The ones that come after you may never know your name, but they will follow your lead
If you’re motivated by the movement, then it’s much easier to remain humble if someone else gets the credit. If you’re motivated by the praise you’ll receive then you’ll have an impossible time leading through influence. You have to be okay with being the person behind the curtain. That’s what leading through influence is all about… it’s about being an unseen force that is pushing the organization forward. It’s a thankless style, but one of the most personally rewarding if you can tune your motivations appropriately.
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