The first time I really questioned the concept of romance was when I was working in domestic homicide (when someone murders their partner or ex). We live in a country where two women a week are murdered by a partner or ex-partner. That fatal form of violence is often the endpoint to an extended period of controlling behaviour. It might seem like a leap from romance to death but they’re not as disconnected as you may think.
In 2019, I worked alongside criminologists and homicide victims’ families to introduce the UK’s first media guidelines on fatal domestic…
During the pandemic, Alzbeta, a 26-year-old from the Czech Republic, realised that spending money had become a key coping mechanism for her anxiety. “Spending money allowed me to get excited about my incoming deliveries, which was the only thing I could get excited about in these uncertain times,” she tells R29. “But unfortunately, after spending money I’ll inevitably start feeling anxious again.”
Spending money has been a plaster over the pandemic anxiety but she worries about what she will miss out on as the world opens up again. “Since travelling was out of the question for the…
Ever since I was young, going to church is all I’ve known. There have been times in my life when I’d attend church up to three times a week. That wasn’t compulsory; I genuinely enjoyed being in church and having a relationship with God, both of which are still important to me now as an adult.
Though I’ve always had a strong belief in God, I make it a practice to frequently question what my faith means to me. It was (and still is) crucial for me to know why I believe what I believe. As I’ve…
When I think about my own experiences of coming out, there’s one occasion I really remember. Perched on a grassy verge outside our college at the age of 17, I explained to my childhood best friend that I liked girls. And also boys. She shrugged, not remotely surprised and asked if she could have the other half of my KitKat. That was it. Job done. Except it wasn’t.
Coming out isn’t a one-time deal. I hadn’t considered the sheer number of times I’d be required to say, ‘Oh, I’m bisexual’. …
Remember when DJ Khaled announced that he does not, as a rule, go down on women? No? Maybe your mind has safeguarded your memory by blocking out this disturbing statement.
Tragically, DJ Khaled is not an anomaly; statistically, women are twice as likely as men not to receive oral sex. In a huge US study in 2016, over a quarter of women surveyed said they had given but not received oral sex. This was compared to 10% of men in the same situation. …
There’s nothing like a tax return to serve you some harsh truths about your spending. Combing through 12 months of receipts and bank statements, I uncovered an alarming fact. Last year I spent £3,000 on plans I cancelled at the last minute. I’m a serial flake who says yes to invitations for fear of missing out — but chronic social anxiety often prevents me from following through with plans.
Flakiness is an increasingly common problem, with a recent survey from Privilege Insurance finding that more than a quarter of Brits admit to saying yes to a social…
By Amber Bryce
Breaking up is hard to do, especially if you’re a millennial.
Think about it — back in the ’70s you could pack your bags and storm out to a soundtrack of Gloria Gaynor, never having to speak with your good-for-nothing jerk ex again. That’s how I imagine it, anyway.
Nowadays, the ghost of that relationship haunts you through the archives of your WhatsApp messages. And blocking them won’t deter you from sneaking a peak at their Instagram stories through a friend’s account.
It’s not just social media that’s making break-ups more stressful, though — the housing crisis…
I knew I probably had another five minutes before he started questioning why I’d been in the bathroom for such a long time. So I speed-brushed my teeth for the third time that evening and, although I’d just stepped out of the shower, I scrubbed myself raw with a flannel, convinced I’d missed something and that he’d be turned off by the filth I felt over my body.
That might seem excessive but as a sufferer of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), this was my routine I undertook whenever I was about to have sex.
Ever woken up horrified after an intense sex dream involving someone you hate in real life? Me too. Which is why I asked Refinery readers to send me their worst, most depraved, most upsetting sex-based dreams so I could speak to a dream interpreter and find out if they actually do want to sleep with the man in the corner shop.
Before we get into the nitty-gritty of the nighttime fun-time, it’s worth mentioning that there’s still a lot we don’t know about dreams. In one camp, we have experts claiming that they are nothing more than…
Martha, 29, is a butch cis lesbian living in London and working as an architect. For as long as she can remember, she has been made to feel that she is “failing at womanhood”, with her gender presentation regularly called into question, commented on or mocked. This happened long before she was out and presenting in a way that felt truly comfortable. As a young girl dressed by her mum, she would be misgendered when her picture was put in the local paper; when walking to a party at 17, with long hair and a full face…
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