teaching a man to feel

“How do you do it, put your mind to rest to be present with your heart?” He said
“You practice.” — I replied
It was his last night in town and I was ready for him to leave,
Yet still yearning for what could’ve been.
Rather than spend our few days together indulging in love and connection
We each stared at our screens and pretended to do things to make our dreams come true — like create presentations and send work emails.
Was it really non existent, or did we simply ignore it?
The chemistry we felt when we first met.
He thought I was too soft, and not taking enough action to thrive in my business
I thought he was too rigid, and not feeling enough into his emotions.
We pretended to be into one another in front of the other couple we met for dinner,
And for a second it felt like we were. Were we?
For the fourth night in a row we shared a bed,
Awkwardly, facing opposite directions
Not knowing how to be in the limbo between friends and sex.
We said our goodbyes at the staircase in the next morning,
And I didn’t hear from him again for about a week.
“I just don’t think it was there, don’t you agree?”
I wanted to respond with “I don’t think YOU were there, in your heart, in the moment.”
But instead I agreed,
Because I remembered the promise to myself:
That it’s not my project,
To teach a man
To feel.
