In CryptoCoin Years, Bitcoin is Now 177 Years Old

Any experienced businessperson (and no, not referring to those Fratboys in mid-2017 who did an ICO on a dare and raised $300,000 before anyone noticed their business plan was written in crayon) will tell you there are two especially dangerous situations a venture can succumb to.

One, it falls apart and just lies there on its back, like an overturned beetle, unable even to get up. Two, it becomes too successful too fast, and everyone fights over the spoils.

Mr. Bitcoin falls into the second category.

We do not have enough space in this short essay to discuss the true origins of Bitcoin. Such as the “coincidence” that every aspect of it precisely matches the 1996 NSA White Paper on the need to engender digital currencies and smart contracts. Or the fact that all through the first half of 2017, Zerohedge reported “mystery buyers” taking $1.0 million dollar bites per single trade, and goosing the price. Or the fact that a forensic analysis of the Blockchain (if you have the two months needed to download it) shows that the mysterious Mr. Satoshi never cashed in any of his coins. Seems he is not only a genius but has no need of cash flow, or food, or perhaps even oxygen.

No, we will save all that for another essay.

Instead, we will just ask the musical question, if Bitcoin was an attempt to juice public interest in digital currencies and smart contracts, did it succeed too well?

If yes, that would explain why everyone and their brother is trying to find a mechanism to control it. The futures people in the US are now running the equivalent of “off-track betting” for Bitcoin, the securities people are starting funds, and banks all over the world are literally shaming customers who invest in it.

You almost have to feel sorry for firms like Bitpay that invested in a structure allowing customers to use Bitcoin as a stable medium of exchange, only to discover that no one wants to buy a hamburger with a digital coin that could move 50%, one way or the other, in a New York minute.

Bitcoin can’t even get any love from its own miners. Like relatives choking off the O-2 from the deathbed of a dying uncle, they are “forking” each other — and Bitcoin investors — like there is no tomorrow.

And there may not be.

Going into 2018, counting in Crypto-Coin years, Bitcoin is already an old man. Putting aside that mining one takes the equivalent power of launching the space shuttle (or whatever), within 6 months it will be competing in a sea of 1000s of new coins, many of which will be (gasp!) actually backed by real quantifiable assets.

Be still my beating heart!

Change is afoot for the crypto universe in 2018. Just make sure that foot does not end up somewhere painful and uncomfortable.