This New Data Will Make You Rethink How You Write Headlines
Larry Kim

This response will make you weep with joy: 10 reasons why only hip and smart people will get the joke

Hip, smart people write their headlines using magic. (Photo by Aziz Acharki)

Now that Larry Kim has explained how to write better headlines, I only need to deliver hip, smart content. Here it is:

  1. Hip, smart people pay attention to what they’re reading instead of forwarding it on Twitter. Which means they will spot the punchline you missed.
  2. Hip, smart people keep up with all the trends — even if they have to spend all their time keeping up with trends. Which means they will catch cultural references like the one in this item, the one you missed.
  3. Hip, smart people don’t fall for click bait. Which means they knew the joke would be on them if they read this response, and which is why you’re reading this response and they’re not.
  4. Hip, smart people understand subtext. Which means they don’t have to click on the link to find out what subtext is.
  5. Hip, smart people know that sometimes the joke is the absence of a joke. Which is why you’re still looking for the punchline and they’re not.
  6. You will weep with joy to learn I lied about having ten reasons. This is the last one, so you don’t have to feel any worse about yourself. However, hip, smart people skim ahead to make sure an article is worth reading, so they already knew there were only six reasons.[1]
  7. I’m serious, number 6 was the last item on the list.
  8. Wow, you can’t take a hint can you? Hip, smart people would.
  9. Seriously? You’re still reading?
  10. If you read all the way to number 10 you can pat yourself on the back for your persistence. Hip, smart people have better things to do with their time.

[1]If you skimmed ahead, congratulations. That doesn’t make you a hip, smart person. Not until you read the footnotes.

Wry noir writer Phillip T. Stephens is the author of Cigerets, Guns & Beer, Raising Hell and Seeing Jesus. Follow him @stephens_pt.