Something’s wrong, with me.

call me cruel
call me numb
call me calloused
I’m not, I never wanted to be
I’m something entirely different

a part of me has been lost a long time
it’s hard to fill the gaps
the void has gone too far and wide
I don’t think I can fix it
I don’t want you to fix it

your warmth kindles the parts of me
I never knew could light up again
my heart is not cold, nor is it warm
it’s empty, and emptiness is a heavy feeling
I don’t want you to carry its weight

now, I want you to go
find someone else
someone who can give you warmth
I have nothing to give you
I have nothing at all

I don’t know how to heal my wounds
the jagged pieces of me that cut so deep
and my broken and crooked bones
are not what you deserve
you deserve so much more in this world

I wish I could explain it to you
but I can’t, I can’t even explain it to myself
so I’m letting you go
because you’re better off without me
and I’m saying this with a heavy heart

I’m truly, utterly, eternally sorry
for ignoring you and not treating you well
it felt so real to me and I don’t know
I don’t know if I’m ready for anything real
Thank you and farewell.