Are You Really Really Ready For A Relationship?

There is an excellent saying and it reads: “If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or objects”.

These words are extremely important.


Because, so many people wait and hope for that one person to bring them happiness and fulfilment. Then, when that one person doesn’t arrive they are often crippled with disappointment.

Many don’t realise that especially in today’s world things are a bit more complicated than waiting for ‘Mr or Mrs Knight in Shining Armour’ to arrive.

It is now up to everyone of us to create and develop our own lives, our careers and our interests. This is what makes us interesting.

But longing for a relationship and hoping that a prince or princess will arrive and kiss you on the lips and bring you happiness, belongs to fairy tales — not reality.

Also, often we think that we are ready for a relationship but in reality, it’s not true.

Not everyone is emotionally ready for an emotional commitment, even if they think they are.

I observed this often as a relationship therapist. People think they are ready to settle down but their behaviour can reveal that the opposite is true.

This does not mean it will not happen.

It just means that they need to wait a while — until they are really ready to settle down. And sometimes some people never feel ready to settle down — and don’t.

For women, not being ready to settle down, can be become problematic.

If women want children and they find that ‘their body clocks have started ticking’ then finding a partner may become crucial. This can be difficult to achieve if a woman isn’t emotionally ready to commit. And they may also not actually be ready to become a parent either. This applies equally to both sexes.

This is why it is so important to get on with your life and not to worry too much about that one person that will make you happy.

It is up to each and every one of us to do that for ourselves. No one will ever make us happy. Believing this can only lead to misery. But, if glorious happiness does come along — then see it as a bonus.

In the meantime, go travel, develop your interests and enjoy life. Usually it’s when you’re not looking that your special person can turn up. But until then — please be patient. Focus on you.

What I have however also observed, is that when Mr or Mrs Right does arrive, they may not be what you think you want. They may actually be what you need!

You just have to be clever enough to spot the difference. Often what we think we need is not always right.

Knowing this little relationship truth, often requires a bit of life experience and a certain amount of maturity.


Because often our fantasy of who we will attract is just that — a fantasy.

In reality, the beautiful blue-eyed blonde or the green eyed stunning brunette you hoped you would attract and marry, might seem a long way off compared to whom you finally attract.

Mr or Mrs Right might not be your type but what they offer — could be.

Better still, we attract what we are ready for. Make sure that you are ready.

Remember to “become the person you want to be with”.

By developing who you are, means you will attract like-minded people and this is how to “attract what we are ready for”.

You may just have to wait a while.

But for the time being — are you really really ready for love?

© 2016 Deidré Wallace. All rights reserved.

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About The Author

I am a fully UK qualified Psychodynamic Relationship Therapist, Life Coach and Teacher.

I am not offering relationship advice, I am offering relationship knowledge.

I encourage people to think differently and I help people understand how and why we choose our personal and business relationships.

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