More people than we realise, feel an inner emotional emptiness which can sometimes stick around for years.
The feeling can come and it can go.
People can even be in a relationship yet still feel empty. They can have a fulfilling job yet the emptiness may persist.
Emotional emptiness often relates to an earlier unresolved trauma.
If a trauma is/was excruciatingly painful, then sometimes the distressing memory can get buried, especially if the trauma was abusive, or if it violated boundaries and privacy. Consequently, the shocking experience can lie unresolved for many years.
Often the only memory is the feeling of sad emptiness. Because no matter how much we try to bury our memories — they do linger and they can linger on via all sorts of feelings.
On the other hand, emptiness can also emerge as a result of a dreadful loss — especially the loss of a child.
As a result of grief and bereavement, an emptiness may emerge that may last many years. Often the anger and rage that is felt when someone dies, gets transferred and becomes the empty feelings.
But feeling empty, doesn’t always mean something horrendous must have happened to you. It could just be something less significant but relevant nevertheless.
Having feelings is one thing, however if your feelings start getting in the way of you achieving your goals, I would urge you to find help.
Sometimes we need a little nudge to help relieve ourselves from pain — before our painful emotions begin to completely take us over.
Please take courage. Often we fear the release of what has been part of us for many years.
However, once you release the emotions — they will no longer have a hold on you. Better still, you will realise that constantly having to bury emotions requires a lot of effort and energy. This can be very tiring. It can also mean wasting a huge amount of energy, on what can be put to better use.
And for some, burying memories even means becoming ill — as they insist on holding on to their traumatic memories.
Carl Jung, once said that,
“People will do anything, now matter how absurd — to avoid facing their own souls”.
However he also said,
“I am not what happened to me — I am what I choose to become”.
We so easily forget that we do not have to hold onto feelings or experiences that are painful.
Once we give ourselves permission to let go of whatever it is that is holding us back, our goals can be reached.
Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t let go — because you can!
So what’s stopping you?
© 2016 Deidré Wallace. All rights reserved.
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About The Author
I am a fully UK qualified Psychodynamic Relationship Therapist, Life Coach and Teacher.
I am not offering relationship advice, I am offering relationship knowledge.
I encourage people to think differently and I help people understand how and why we choose our personal and business relationships.
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