Have You Disappeared From Sight Because Of Your Age?
Many women report that as they begin to age and as menopause sets in, they can start feeling ‘unnoticed and unseen’ by the opposite sex. Some even feel that they have ‘disappeared from sight’.
During the lovely youthful years, it is not always made clear that the game of finding a mate, is predominantly about the primal urge to procreate — whether we do so or not.
Dating in youth is often about inspecting the worth of a partner. It is about checking one another out — and very simply put:
1) Men need to show that they can support a family because like it or not, many women either consciously or unconsciously seek out or prefer men who are financially stable and who can provide a secure family environment.
2) Women need to show that they can bear children, look after them and be good mothers.
But when middle age and menopause strikes, suddenly the dating game or the attraction between the sexes changes. It is no longer about having children or starting a family.
Menopause starts at different ages or stages for different women. For some, menopause can start early in their forties, others start later.
No matter when menopause starts, many women have reported that ‘how men look at them’ changes. It changes even without any mention that their menopause has started. It’s like men have a ‘procreational sixth sense’. It’s as if men somehow ‘know’ that women have passed their procreational years.
Women can find this transition tricky and it could lead to them feeling less attractive and less confident.
This is however, what we need to prepare ourselves and our daughters for.
As we get older it is important that we develop our lives through various interests — that are separate from just having children.
It is important to become interesting, to have say travelled and to have done things with your life.
If you are interesting and if you have developed yourself and learn’t many skills and so on — you will NOT feel less attractive. You will most probably just feel different.
Better still, you most probably will have developed your own style and you will have developed a mature confidence.
There are many men out there that prefer to converse with women who have lived interesting lives, who are confident — and who they can talk to.
The trick is not to fight growing older but to embrace it.
A great example is Tanya Drouginska. She is a model and she was on billboards all over London just a few years ago. I believe that when she walks down the road people stare at her in utter amazement. She has a wonderful individual style and she carries her self well. It is women like her that are role models for all of us.
Audrey Hepburn once said of ageing,
“As the years go on, you see changes in yourself, but you’ve got to face that — everyone goes through it.
Either you have to face up to it and tell yourself you’re not going to be eighteen all your life, or be prepared for a terrible shock when you see the wrinkles and white hair.”
It is no use putting our heads in the sand.
We will all get older than we are today. Preparing for this is crucial.
Living our lives to the full is so important. This helps build confidence and when you feel good about your life it often shows on your face and in your posture.
We can all have a style of our own, we can all grow old gracefully — if we choose to do so.
So what’s stopping you?
© 2016 Deidré Wallace. All rights reserved.
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About The Author
I am a fully UK qualified Psychodynamic Relationship Therapist, Life Coach and Teacher.
I am not offering relationship advice, I am offering relationship knowledge.
I encourage people to think differently and I help people understand how and why we choose our personal and business relationships.
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