How To Use The Gift Of Time During Conflict.
Sometimes choosing to ignore certain issues is NOT about putting your head in the sand.
It is NOT about being a coward.
Rather, it is about realising that time is your greatest teacher. It is your friend and it can be your saviour.
Time teaches that:
1) Emotions often die down after a while — and what you may have said then, you may not want to say now.
2) Issues can sometimes rectify themselves without you having to get involved, solve everything or even beat someone up.
3) Sometimes we need more information than we often realise, before we make important emotional or practical knee-jerk decisions.
So before you hit out, before you try to solve any issue, ask yourself whether your response can wait.
Learning to control your reactions, learning patience and remembering the ‘gift of time’ is often crucial.
Because this can be the difference between life and death, between a constructive or destructive outcome, between the end of a relationship or friendship and possibly even the end of your job or career.
Learning to apply the gift of time — may lead to a different response and this may also lead to a different outcome.
Always try to be clear about what it is that you wish to achieve or create. Then act from that position.
Because if you just react — it never usually leads to a positive outcome. And deep down we usually know this, even if our ego’s tell us differently.
This is when we start justifying our behaviour — even to ourselves.
We can continue doing this for days. We can continue beating ourselves up or trying to explain our actions with all sorts of rationalising and explanations. But this is such a waste of time and such a waste of energy!
All because we so easily forget that silence is often the best answer to any problem — initially anyway.
Learning that most situations require objectivity will help you step back. It will help you create a space between you and the problem.
Creating space and objectivity, is a far more effective way of finding a resolution.
On the other hand, many things often do get resolved without intervention — it just may take a little time.
Some situations require mediation.
But until then, time and patience may be your best friend and teacher.
And if you are inclined to react quickly, if you are inclined to get angry easily, then I suggest you learn this technique.
Keep reminding yourself that time is your friend.
You just need to learn to trust this thing called ‘time’ and you’ll be surprised at what you can achieve.
So what’s stopping you?
© 2016 Deidré Wallace. All rights reserved.
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About The Author
I am a fully qualified UK Psychodynamic Relationship Therapist, Life Coach and Teacher.
I am not offering relationship advice, I am offering relationship knowledge.
I encourage people to think differently and I help people understand exactly how and why we choose our personal and business relationships.
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