Emotional intelligence (EI) better predicts your academic and professional success than your IQ. Emotional intelligence even boosts your life span. Fortunately for you, you can train and improve this skill. Although there is no perfect consensus on what precisely EI is, psychologists generally define it as the ability to perceive, reason, understand, and manage emotions. The BarOn Emotional Quotient-Inventory (BarOn EQ-i®) estimates EI by measuring 5 components: intrapersonal, interpersonal, adaptability, stress management, and general mood. Even though scientists debate the existence of the construct as a form of intelligence, it remains relevant as—contrary to other “fixed” personality diagnostics—it gives people hope that they can change their life, as well as a clue on what to focus on.
Without knowing about the concept explicitly, I started to develop my emotional intelligence about 5 years ago. At that time, I was a rather self-centered, intolerant and choleric person. My insensitivity towards others led to many conflicts due to communicational misunderstandings. One tool that was very useful in improving my EI (i.e., positively transforming the way I managed my emotions and social interactions) was applying the 5 Toltec Agreements, which are “principles of life and liberty”. These are: 1) Be impeccable with your word, 2) Don’t take anything personally, 3) Clarify any assumptions, 4) Always do your best, and 5) Be skeptical, but open. Of course, simply thrown at you with no explanation they may not be of great utility to you, but I recommend you read don Miguel Ruiz’s book to understand their philosophical underpinnings. Ultimately, I give you a challenge: try to apply the agreements—at least for a month—and see your EI improve dramatically!
