I Won’t Be My Bra Size

After all, it’s just letters and numbers.

To be honest, I found it funny until quite recently. By that I mean people writing about “big boob problems”. I thought about it, and most of them are about how you “can’t” wear certain things, and that winds me up. That would close off about half the clothes that even exist to me. That was when I thought, is it really that I can’t, or is it more that I won’t? Or I can, but…

Yeah, I know this seems like me making something out of nothing. But hear me out, seriously.

The picture above is me wearing a spaghetti strap top, one of the items I supposedly can’t wear. And I had it on, and I felt really epic. I’m writing this because I am a 36F, and I was looking to accept my own body a bit more recently. So I wore it, and I felt good. I’ve had a very good week in terms of self acceptance for every single part of myself (although admittedly I have some parts, such as my hands and my eyes, that I was happy with anyway). So I was thinking, is it really that I can’t wear these things? Can I wear them?

Of course. Of course I can. So why am I being told I can’t, if in fact I can?

There are two points. One of them is comfort. It’s apparently not “comfortable” to be a larger size and go around without a bra, for example (another of the things I supposedly can’t do). But bras are really fucking uncomfortable. I’ve always said that if the inventor of the bra was a man, I would see it as oppression. Since they were invented by a woman, I see it as a lack of solidarity. So what do I do? Well, the lesser of the two evils is taking the bra off. If I do this, I don’t do it for anyone but myself. My own mother has said that gravity will catch up with me eventually, and I know this. But I don’t really care. It only gets worse if you have one on 24/7. I don’t care what people think – if you ever see me without a bra on, there’s a reason for it. I’m more comfortable that way. There’s also the issue of my reduction bras, which I will address at the end. But it’s more comfortable on a number of levels.

Next, there’s how it looks. People that say they’re dressing for themselves but still care about “looking too sexual” obviously aren’t dressing for themselves. Spaghetti strap tops, anything low cut, the list goes on. You supposedly can’t wear these things because they look too sexual when you’re more than a DD. Well, I’ve come to think that’s just bull as well. It’s only what you make it, of course. What I make it is a load of bull. Seriously, I don’t see what’s so attractive about a few extra pounds in the front. To make myself feel better I call them my “pecs” or my “extra bulk” because that’s all I think they are. If I want to wear any of these things, I totally can just like everyone else and it shouldn’t matter. If you find a couple of lumps of flesh attractive then fine. To each their own. But I won’t care because I’m dressing for myself. I know it sounds a lot like I’m not, but I am. I wear what I want because I want. I won’t always just wear baggy clothing because of what you think. I wear what I feel like. My name isn’t 36F, my name is Remy. I am not my bra size.

Now, the issue of the reduction bras. The thing is, some things have happened to make me feel ashamed of the bra size that I am. I had some bras before that were a bit triangular and strange, so then I found these and I’m happy. The straps are a bit thinner, and that’s not a problem. But I’m happy. That’s all that matters.

What I’m saying here is, yeah, I’m a 36F. Big whoop. Actually no, I mean that. Big whoop for me. There’s nothing wrong with my body. It’s not the best looking, but everything inside it works just fine and I’m happy. That is a big whoop. But my bra size? That’s just like my dress size. Big. Whoop. I don’t care what anyone says, spaghetti straps will never be just a pipe dream for me. Especially not now we’re headed for summer. What, you want me to walk around in a t-shirt all summer and not embrace the spaghetti straps? Heh. No chance.