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Seek first to understand, then to be understood. — Stephen Covey

Stephen Covey explains that seeking real understanding affirms the other person and what they have to say. He’s not wrong on this one.

Every human being desires to feel seen, heard, and understood.

So, how do we create space for this real understanding?

We can ask an effective question.

Why?” is a common default for many of us, and my personal habit. It slices right into to the muscle of motivation and reason; it reveals how people think and what influences them.

But Why? can come across as judgmental, even if not intended as such. Tone is very important. Also, why? doesn’t always get to the heart of our felt experience.


Renée Fishman

I help busy entrepreneurs create space for their best work and achieve sustainable productivity. The Ritual Revolution™️.

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