What the F*!@ did I sign up for

I’m resurrecting my Medium blog in order to chronicle quite possibly the most insane thing I’ve ever set out to do: run the NYC marathon.

I’ll be running for Safe Horizon, which is an organization devoted to victim’s advocacy in cases of domestic abuse. This is a cause that is near and dear to my heart, as I was once in a abusive (physically, verbally) relationship.

Wow, I’ve never said that online. Guess this is a growing experience.

Signing up for the marathon came a bit of out the blue for me. Sure, I go on runs, but mainly as an attempt at cardiovascular fitness to offset my wine drinking and pasta consumption, as well as get some exercise for my chihuahua mix, Gozer. Just that tells you a lot about the intensity that I run at…I go with my chihuahua.

With that said, I do firmly fall in the camp that if you’re out there, you’re a runner.

I used to be more of a runner-runner. After college, I dove headfirst into running with my mom and sister, as a way to shed some weight and participate in Saturday runs with my family (followed by coffee and bagels). The first time I ran, I hadn’t done any sort of distance running since high school field hockey practice. I pulled out my very first 5K on that run, and felt accomplished, tired, and motivated.

I continued with my first races, culminating in a half marathon where I ran until roughly the tenth mile before switching to a slow run-walk…let’s just say I didn’t train very consistently.

In fact, that’s always been my problem as a runner. I plan and organize for a living as a project manager, and I think as a result I tend to push back against plans in the rest of my life. Or maybe I just haven’t had a race that meant something to me.

Flash forward to now, and it’s been eight years since I started running, and five years at least since I’ve been doing it consistently. I’m 30, and one night I decided I would sign up for the NYC marathon lottery, frankly because it sounded cool and I knew it would force me to get off the couch.

Even though I was barely interested at first, I felt really sad when I lost the lottery. Like I had missed out on my chance. So I started to take action and search for a charity to run for, and raise for.

It felt like fate when I nabbed a spot on the Safe Horizon team, since I’ve given to them in the past. I teared up envisioning crossing the finish line, imagining not only how much it would mean to run the race, but what I was running for. I’m excited and feel honored to run across (what I think) the best city in the world with thousands of amazing athletes.

Then I felt terrified, knowing my inconsistent training in the past and the dedication and hard work that it takes to cross that finish line…and that I’d be responsible for raising some cash to boot!

And then I felt proud, knowing that this was something that I could do to make a difference in my life AND the lives of women and children who depend on a lifeline to escape life-threatening situations.

So with that mixed bag of emotions and more rambling posts, I’ll be covering the next few months here. I’m armed with a yoga/running plan, healthy recipes, and preparation to prioritize my plan over my social life. We’ll see how this race goes.

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