Confirming Your Poor Reputation
We can communicate to others that we want to exhibit improved, honorable character worthy of trust yet unless we choose the necessary, helpful self control and actually consistently do what is respectable and free of negative perception, we are going to continue confirming what people think about us and have to deal with it.
Such is the case of someone about whom I just read.
“I think he just did nothing but solidify the (poor) reputation that he had.”
The context, you may wonder?
A person who was deemed a likable said that they wanted to clean up their act yet then proceeded to almost immediately engage in the type of behavior that initially earned them criticism in the first place.
I saw that quote and it popped off the page because that is exactly what happens to people who make bold and definitive public (or private) expressions of becoming a better person and subsequently fail to take the positive actions — and avoid the problematic behaviors — that create the compelling evidence that quietly-but-clearly shows people the evidence that they did what they asserted they wanted to do and would do.
Let’s briefly go back to the quote above and talk about it. The person in question wanted to be different, wanted to earn trust, wanted to be respected.
Yet their actions didn’t align with what they communicated that they wanted for themselves. Their behavior showed differently.
Their “appetite” for pleasure exceeded their stated intent to be the better, idealized version of themselves. Observers saw it all.
Cognitive dissonance was occurring for the person falling short.
Overcoming weaknesses isn’t easy. It can be accomplished on one’s own yet, as we well know, not always.
For some emotional, psychological, behavior impulses, habits and challenges, replacement behavior and improvement often requires some type of professional assistance in addition to discipline, a clear and motivating vision of the “success” pursued, perseverance and patience.
No one really wants to “solidify” in other people’s minds the reputation of us being a rogue or worse. It’s easier to do than we realize though because we too often become addicted to our appetites and habits.
Thank you for reading Reputation Intelligence…
Michael Toebe is a reputation consultant, advisor and communications specialist at Reputation Intelligence: Reputation Quality, assisting individuals and organizations with further building reputation as an asset or ethically and responsibly protecting, restoring or reconstructing it.
Professional Opinion, Consulting (about a particular situation),
Ongoing Advisory, Public Speaking and Communications.
