The Fine Line at Work: Playful or Passive Aggressive
When a person experiences an uncomfortable or upsetting interaction with a co-worker, it’s difficult. When that type of behavior becomes a pattern, whether regular or semi-regular, it seems even more problematic.
Some co-workers will notice. The negative-impact behavior though doesn’t always get properly, responsibly addressed. That’s not good for the person being needled, the culture or the organization’s internal reputation.
Right now, for example, there are observers who are wondering what is happening on the Today show with Jenna Bush Hager and Hoda Kotb, a story that Mike Hammer has reported on for Closer.
He writes that the partnership’s relationship is not as professional and sensitive as it should and could be and has been in the past.
Kotb, “according to a set insider, is getting tired of Jenna picking on her,” Hammer reported. “They seemed like they were getting along for a while, but lately their nerves are snapping,” says the source for his article.
Is discontent, anger and resentment emerging in a passive-aggressive manner from Bush Hager or is this overblown and much ado about nothing?
Jenna “feels underappreciated working in Hoda’s shadow,” the source told Hammer. One big problem is said to be that Kotb’s salary is more than twice that of Bush Hager’s $4 million-a-year paycheck.
Envy is a disease, and if we are to believe the source quoted by Hammer. it could be that Bush Hager has been infected with it.
Previous reporting has revealed that audiences and staffers are unhappy with Bush Hager’s behavior, per Hammer. “Things are so bad, (that) bosses have demanded Jenna start playing nice,” the insider says.
If the conflict is to be believed, then this is not playful but unintentionally hurtful banter by one colleague to another. It’s resentment uncontrolled.
Maybe Bush Hager is most angry at the executives who are not equally paying her and thus, she is taking out those emotions and feelings in a negative way towards Kotb.
If this is an accurate analysis, then Bush Hager, justified or not in her judgment, is acting unprofessionally and hurting her reputation within the company with decision makers, at least some of them and maybe at least some of the people with which she works.
If Bush Hager has a valid point, then the executives may have done a poor job showing her that she is valued and that her compensation and opportunities will reflect it, if not now, then a specific time and way in the very near future. Maybe Bush Hager just needs to hear appreciation, clearly, publicly and who knows, possibly more often.
Maybe Kotb hasn’t made an effort to see the hurt that Bush Hager feels and spoken to her in support and aligned herself with her partner and management.
Or yes, it’s possible, that ego is getting the better of Bush Hager and she is overly focused on herself instead of preparing for a breakup with her current employer so she can, when her contract expires, seek the recognition, respect and pay she feels that is commensurate with her experience, accomplishments and market value.
Whatever the reality is, giving off impressions, even if unintentional, inside the company and publicly, that she is being passive aggressive and petty, is a bad look and dangerous “move” for how Bush Hager is being perceived and judged — neutral or critical — by a percentage of observers.
Michael Toebe is the founder and practicing specialist for consulting, advisory and communications at Reputation Intelligence — Reputation Quality.
He serves individuals and organizations with further building — and ethically and responsibly protecting, restoring and reconstructing reputation trust. He is the writer and publisher of Reputation Intelligence here on Medium and the newsletter on Substack.