Love to the Point of Invention — We are All the Result of the Love of Thousands

For as long as I can remember, I have always been enamored with the concept of love — specifically agapē love — a type of love that is rooted in empathy, and extension of service for others. But it wasn’t just an infatuation, love has always been a practice in my life, and after an illuminating conversation with a friend, I believe now is the time to write about it.

For the past year or so, I deviated away from my values on agapē love, not out of lack of character, but from an overwhelm from life, being extremely overworked and having my emotions stretched thin. One of the main stressors was a supplemental job, where I was employed at a large chain-coffee store. This store is usually identified by a circular green logo on cups, and those cups — for some reason — are up for Christianity debates every winter. Now that I am no longer an employee of said coffee chain, I can say with confidence it was the worst job I have ever experienced, namely because of the customers. Somehow, all of the cruelest, rudest and most impatient people managed to find their way to our location every single day, but they taught me an important lesson about love.

For the majority of my time working there, I referred to most people — customers or coworkers — as “love”. Not in a creepy way (I hope), but more as a term of endearment, and most people seemed to like it — a lot of people would grin or admit that it made their day. I primarily used it as a tool to help ground myself and remember that everyone deserves compassion and love, even the crankiest of customers. And so, it became a small mindless habit that I became very well known for.

Another predictable habit of mine was writing thoughtful quotes on a whiteboard that was visible to guests passing through the drive-thru, and for a long time, my go-to quote was “You are the result of the love of thousands — and you are so incomparably loved” — paraphrased from a quote by Linda Hogan: “Suddenly all my ancestors are behind me. Be still, they say. Watch and listen. You are the result of the love of thousands.” The second part of that quote is actually completely stolen from an old friend of mine, who always told people that “they were so incomparably loved in this world”.

One day, as I worked the drive-thru, we had a miraculously slow day, and as usual, I referred to one of the customers as “love” when repeating the order back to them, and cheerily told them we would have their order ready at the window. They drove up, and as they were completing the transaction, I caught them reading my whiteboard quote. I again referred to them as “love” and they paused and inquired why I called them “love”, explaining that I had used the nickname several times before, and although they thought it was sweet, it puzzled them.

Before I really had time to think, my heart took over and responded “I mostly call everyone love out of habit now, because sometimes we need to be reminded that we come from love. We’re here because of our parents love, or whatever creator’s love, or the love of the universe. And if you didn’t have or believe in any of those, then you’re here because of a million small acts of love, in some way shape or form. And, it’s nice to feel loved, even if it’s from a stranger making you coffee, so I just like to remind people they are loved.”

Being able to blurt this out on the spot after thinking about it for so long gave me hope. Hope in myself, that maybe I wasn’t all that terrible and could allow myself grace for not always acting out of love, and hope in the meaning of love again.

A few months later, I had a conversation with a dear friend and we discussed how people are simply extensions of everyone around them, and exchanged views on finding the balance between individualism and collectivism.

Through my observations, individualism is all about cultivating the individual ways in which we show up for collectivism. For example, aforementioned friend has a degree in electrical engineering and his passion focuses on sustainability through design. His point of interest, while individual and unique, was ultimately cultivated through academics to help improve the collective whole. Through his work, he seeks to create a more sustainable way in which we approach energy use — an individual passion that has been turned to love for the collective good.

Drawing off that, there’s a quote that will haunt me until the end of my days:

He loved her to the point of invention. Out of love came something that benefitted the world. If one were to search the internet for inventions that derived from love, lists of common everyday items would flood the screen — garbage disposals, overalls, band-aids, baking soda, Alfredo sauce, and even goldfish crackers were all invented because of love.

So whether it be collective love like my friend has, or individual love like these inventors had, for the love of each other, for the love of sustainability, for the love of peace and justice, or for the love of community, we all benefit from love being a driving point. Our collective is fueled by love. When one loves others, we all reap the benefits of such love. When inventions are created out of love, generations thereafter get the accessibility and ease forged from such love. We all owe it to each other to love in earnest, to love with purpose and to love despite.

You are so incomparably loved.