The Best Way to Face Wounds and Sorrows
Is there a best way to face wounds and sorrows? Some say the best way is to just let it go and move on. Others suggest, “validate whatever you’re feeling”, “be kind to yourself”, or “it’s okay not to be okay.” And so on.
But what is truly the best way? Perhaps we’ll never find the answer, since unfortunately, there’s no manual for facing wounds and sorrows. We’re suddenly forced to confront them and figure things out by ourselves.
Sometimes we learn to face them with abrupt events: the death of a loved one, divorce, or things we never wanted or thought about in childhood.
Yes, we can offer comfort to others, but the reality is we’re never ready when it all happens to us. No one is prepared, and that’s okay.
Some people tend to run away from wounds and sorrows, but it’s not their fault. Perhaps it is too frightening, a specter. Something truly devastating — so it’s understandable (and somewhat natural, scientifically speaking) if people avoid it to protect themselves from danger. Fight or flight response, and we choose flight.
Therefore, being an escapist is the chosen way for most people to “face” wounds and sorrows, including me. It’s not surprising because that (apparently) seems to be the easiest way. Our escapism varies, but we’re actually all the same: equally afraid to face wounds and sorrows.
However, wounds and sorrows are part of being human. When we avoid them, we avoid being human. Facing wounds and sorrows is something we can’t avoid, no matter how fast we run. And regardless of how we distract ourselves, they will definitely resurface in different forms.
So, what should we do when facing wounds and sorrows? Perhaps those who say to move on are right. And those who say to validate your feelings are also right.
But indeed, the first step is to acknowledge that we are indeed facing wounds and sorrows. We feel pain. We grieve. And that’s okay; it’s a sign that we’re human.
Does that mean our lives are over? Certainly not. I recall a quote I saw somewhere, roughly like this: the crescent moon, even when it’s only a quarter visible, doesn’t lose its worth just because it’s not full. It’s just a phase. It remains a round — and full moon.
Yes, we deal with wounds and sorrows thoroughly, observe it without judgment, but then we rise again. Perhaps that’s (close to) the best way in my version of facing wounds and sorrows.
With love,
— Resna
